I was dead. In all sense of the word, aside form the physical aspect, I was indeed dead.
No sound passed my ears, no light invaded my eyes, I could feel nothing, no wind seemed to blow and I was neither hot nor cold nor just right. I was floating.
It felt good.
Better than sleep.
Sleep. Forget. Sleep. Forget. Sleep. Forget.
That was all I cared about. That was all I dared to care about.
Time meant nothing to me when I went dead, so it could have been midnight or mid day, or anything in between.
I was lying face down in the park, the grass would have been tickling me and the snow would have been sticking to my body and freezing my vital organs. I felt nothing. When I was dead, my whole body just shut down; I was intently aware of everything, except what was going on outside of my head.
"Hello?" Someone asked. It sounded like a dream, the ones where the air is too thick to move or speak. So I didn't.
"Hello?" They asked again.
I was aware now. Who did this person think they were? Disturbing me when I was dead, allowing me to feel the pain I ran from constantly, even though the unavoidable battle was inside my own head.
"Piss off." I mumbled.
Someone knelt down beside me.
"Are you, are you drunk?" They asked.
"No. Now piss off."
"No." They replied sternly.
"What?" I dug my hands into the snow and lifted my body out of the ground. My short hair clung to the sides of my face; I hated the way other boys my age grew their hair, ergh it looked ridiculous. So I didn't do it. The melted snow blurred my square framed glasses so I couldn't see who was disturbing me.
"I'm not going anywhere." I was pretty sure it was a girl, it sounded like one.
"Just go away, I don't want you here." I sunk back into the snow, letting the cold seep into all my hair roots until my whole skull screamed.
I laughed at her bluntness, sending tiny ice crystals blowing everywhere. Her embarrassment rolled over me so profoundly that I got out of the snow again.
"I'm sorry." I mumbled stupidly. Even though I couldn't see her, I could tell she wasn't looking at me, "Look, I didn't mean... I meant..." I stopped myself before I dug a hole, "I'm Jonah." I sighed.
It worked, she laughed quietly then.
Sitting up properly, I scrubbed my glasses clean on my t-shirt. It only re-arranged the smudges but it was better than before.
Rosie had thick brown curls that had tried, unsuccessfully, to be tamed into a pony tail. Her eyes were vivid blue and her lips and cheeks were red because of the cold wind. My mouth went dry.
"Are you really okay?" She frowned at me, breaking the spell that seemed to be holding me.
"Yeah, fine." I shrugged. Despite myself, I shivered.
"Come on, lets go to Starbucks or something, my treat." She got up.