Her voice was like fire, penetrating, piercing my very soul. Her lips made a thousand promises of things to come. Her hair, like liquid fire, a whip, cutting into the whole of my being. I knew if I couldn't have her, no one could. She said she loved me, only me. I couldn't believe her. I wanted to but I couldn't. Why is life so cruel? She smiles at me, I feel myself melt into a vast abyss of nothingness. I couldn't feel anything but the touch of her beauty. I knew, knew right then and there, the first time I saw her, I never wanted to be in love again. Her existance was a blasphomy to the deepest part of my being. Her eyes darted, they ripped, tore through me. Those eyes, they haunt my dreams. They were everywhere, and nowhere. She's gone from me now. Disappeared. Like a ghost in the fog. Only those eyes remain to haunt me for an eternity. Life, it seemed, had drawn to a disgusting halt. For a fleeting moment, eternity seemed to come and then abruptly dissapear. A light, then it was gone, dissolved into the blackness of the soul. At this pont, death seemed like a picinic. Life without her was no life, it was a hellish reality that I knew, right from the start, I would have to face one day. Dark clouds formed around my entire mind. It seemed as though the clouds were crying on me. Constantly, it rained. It was as if I was the only one that noticed the bone chilling cold. It soaked right through me and landed on the sidewalk, red, and full of hate and loathing for her. I couldn't have her. She never even acknowledged my existance, I was invisible. Death, it seemed, was easy. The rank of rot and decaying flesh. Worms crawling throughout my entire body. Eye sockets, empty and lifeless. My body already petrified from the years of constant smoking. Yes, death was easy. Many times I have drempt of it. Falling. Falling into the hellish fires. Nothing. Everything ground to a halt. I saw her again, her devilish smile, piercing eyes and then she was gone again. I couldn't understand, I gave her everything. I would have given her my very soul if she asked for it. How could she cast me aside so easily. Why can't I get her out of my mind. She'll always be there. Those eyes, starring, cutting, ripping, piercing. Hell on earth. My life was becoming a decaying, rotting, hollow existance. Why was I so easy to cast aside. She was like a plague, she wouldn't go away. My heart hated me. It told me to move on but I couldn't, couldn't leave her alone. The sun frowned at me while night held some form of comfort. I'm tormented by the kiss that she never should have given me. I never deserved it. Why then? Why did she do it. I hate myself for believing it to be real. Life is a wasteland, overrated and overglorified. People say love is a gift, it is a curse. A siron song of brutality and pain. Love is dead, this new age is called doubt and pain. People say they understand love, no, they do not, love does not understand itself. It is a punishment, for fear of not being able to love. An oxymoron that destroys as much, if not more, than it builds. She still stands there sometimes, emerging from the fog. Eyes and hair burning. She will never leave. Even death can't save me now. Her ghost still haunts me. I see her everywhere. On the streets, in businesses, on the bus. Why is this happening to me? Life has no meaning without her. How can this go on. It's like a hollow, disgusting shell of an existance. The fraility of youth has been torn away from me, stripped clean and spat upon. Does she ever think about me, when she's in someone elses arms? Does he even care for her as I did? Love no longer has any power over me. I believed in it, only twice, and both times lady love stuck a knife through my heart. My very soul bled. Love is like a necktie of doubt. The further you get involved, the more it causes a stranglehold on your very being. One day, its grip will be so tight you will suffocate, drown in your own self. Love is dead, like this hellish place in which i'm stuck. There's no way out!! The body is stuck, the mind wanders on to greater things. More heartbreaks and hell awaits me, but no one can ever replace that one ghost in the fog, in my nightmares, her eyes still glaring, piercing my very essence. The second a child loses their innocence is the second they realize they have become the people their parents have warned them about. Disgusting...

The End

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