One day it was decided that Bernard Tisboy should have a birthday party as his birthday was only a few days away.
On the day of Bernie Tisboy's birthday he was invited to his cousin Alan Chine, who lived in Dog Poo Road, Fried Barnet, in the London Borough of Bernie.
The block of flats where the invitation was to be held, was none other than Tyger's Court.
On arrival at the flats In Dog Poo Road, Bernard Tisboy received quite a number of Birthday presents. He opened up one of the presents and found a box loaded with horse manure. He then opened up the second birthday present and found a couple of dead rats.
These were Bernie's birthday presents.
The two dead rats were a surprise birthday gift.
Then came more presents.
Bernie opened up another present and found a human head inside a box - a head without a body, and another present - this time, a bottle full of urine.
And birthday cards. Among them, a birthday card stained in sauce, and a birthday card loaded with bees.
Then the song ' Happy Birthday to your head and your body.'
The birthday cake was laid out, but with caution, because it had a bomb inside it.
Any false move and the bomb in the birthday cake could go off with the result that the cake could blow causing the whole block of flats to collapse.
Before the cake was served out the bomb had to be defused so Alan Chine phoned 999 and a couple of soldiers came round and defused the bomb in the birthday cake, Now all was safe to eat.
For the special lunch that was served to mark the man's birthday there was potato shmutters and salt beef, served with walker beans, Bristle Sprouts and so on.
For afters there was roast ice cream and black peaches.