Beneath The Bitter Snow

Sixteen year old Evan Brown moves back into his hometown due to his terminally ill mother's wishes, and little does he know of the confusing, life changing events that he will experience. And even more of the people he meets.

The young man stood speechless and motionless, looking down upon a small crib in the bedroom where his newborn son was sleeping gracefully. It was dusk so the bedroom was damp and dark, with the moonlight beaming through the large square window as the only source of light that was shining lightly on the child's face. The young man would usually be asleep or extremely tired around this early time of day, but he was strangely completely awake, he couldn't help himself. Watching his son breathe softly and snore delicately seemed to bring him into a state of serenity, even more knowing the fact that the child was his.
The young man's name was Thomas.
Granted he was only eighteen years old, and the prospect of him having a child at this age made him agitate. But nevertheless, something deep inside stirred him as he watched this small child, and he felt a sense of joy and fulfillment. Probably because he knew that this would never last. He knew his death was coming, the voice reminded him everyday.
He watched his son starting to fiddle with his thin black hair and make squeaking noises with his mouth, this made him smile. He nearly laughed but controlled himself so the child wouldn't be awake.
"This is my child, mine,"he breathed happily.
"And he will always be Thomas,"said a quiet voice from inside him. Of course it was him, the voice had been speaking to him for a long time now. His abrupt appearance neither stirred nor startled Thomas, he merely stood stationary with his eyes locked on his son. Then closing his eyes slowly as a small glittering tear started sliding down left cheek.
"Y-You'll wake him,"Thomas whispered, his voice slightly shaking feebly in despair. He started to clench his fists in anger, he hated that he had to knowingly face the fact that he would never know his son, would never raise him.
"You know he can't hear me."
Of course he couldn't, this voice existed in Thomas' head only. In the very beginning Thomas thought he was just going crazy and been smoking to much weed. But no, soon later he realized this voice came from something else, something divine. An angel perhaps. Maybe even God himself.
He wasn't sure how he came to that conclusion, but somewhere and somehow deep in his heart, he knew that the voice was real and the voice was true.
"He looks more like his mother,"said the voice gently. Thomas did not smile. He didn't want to think about her, she lied to him. She lied to him about the child and then expected for them to get back together again, because she had slept with my most trusted friend. She definitely had another thing coming. The fact that he would have to leave his son to her with excruciating.
"God, please don't let him inherit her personality also then,"Thomas said quietly.
"You judge to easily Thomas."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that you only assume that because of the things she has mistakenly done, she is a bad person. She is merely young, mistakes are inevitable; big or small"
For the first time in maybe a couple hours Thomas tore his gaze from his son and looked towards the ceiling of the room with hatred as if he was speaking towards the heavens. The child then made a loud snore. The tears of his face started to come faster down his face, his look turned from despair to hatred.
"Then why, why do I have to die?"
"It is fate."
"What if I don't believe in fate?"
"Doesn't matter, if you stop believing that snow exists that doesn't mean that their won't be snow the next morning. Not believeing in something doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. You can't escape it."
Thomas made no argument, and looked back at his son while wiping tears away from his face. To his astonishment the child was now sleeping with a beautiful innocent smile on his face. Yes, he did have his mother's appearance, her smile was always so mesmerizing but he couldn't love her again. He just couldn't.
"What's his name?"the voice asked, Thomas wiped away his long tears and gave a small chuckle.
"Thought you knew everything inside my head?"
"Only when I need to, if I am all the time it would be quite impolite."
"Yea, I suppose."
The voice never responded, but in a way Thomas didn't care. He tore his gaze from his child and looked out the large square window, and to his great astonishment.
Their were small white snowflakes falling briskly in many directions. Some even attaching themselves to the window. Thomas was a fair few meters from it, and yet he could somehow make out the amazing different patterns and uniqueness in each of the snowflakes.
For the first time in a long time, Thomas felt happy. He made a lot of mistakes in his life, and plenty of regrets, but somehow he knew in the end it will all be okay. His son will live happily with his mother, and he won't make the same mistakes that he had made.
"It's time Thomas," The Voice said softly, Thomas closed his eyes again but this time he did not cry. He knew that the people he would leave behind would be safe, and that was all that mattered to him at this very moment.
"Can I say good-bye to him?"Thomas said. His voice was incredibly calm which surprised him. A sudden feeling had surged in his mind, he could literally feel The Voice smiling at him.
"Of course."
Thomas stared deeply into his son one last time, but this time it was without tears. Without sorrow. Without sadness.
He stared into his son this time, with courage and happiness.
"I love you son, I'm so sorry that you will live without knowing your father, It's my fault that you will live this way, forever I r-really aa-m s-orry."
"Oh, I wouldn't count on him not knowing you just yet." Thomas had no time to ask about what that meant because he didn't need to. He felt something go through his living body, and it almost felt like a strong hand was gripping his heart, it was in that one moment, that one second. Where everything had made sense.
Thomas Downs died with a smile across his face.
The snow stopped falling.

The End

2 comments about this story Feed