~ Chapter 4 ~
Right now, I’m sitting in my room. Alone. It’s the Saturday after school finished and I’m sitting at home; on my own; in a cold, dark room at five in the morning. What is wrong with me? Why don’t I sleep until noon or start thinking what shops and places around town me and my mates should visit for the rest of summer?
It was because I felt like a monster. A truly horrific human being. Lily had only been wound up because Jacob had completely blanked her. Not because he liked me more. Honestly, he had seen me for, what? 30 seconds, before ignoring her. Yet I still thought he had “fallen in love” with me, like in those cheesy movies. Where a jock meets a pretty but nerdy girl, eventually they date and happy endings all ‘round. Well, it looks like Jacob has utterly avoided the hole of love, in which he might have fallen in, then accidentally misheard Lily and politely walked me and Lily to the park.
The night before I had seen Lily’s Facebook statuses and they weren’t happy in the least! A mini-Lily appeared in my mind and began shouting and sobbing all her harsh words at me.
“I hate you. You think one fool having manners, means he loves you? Let me remind you of how many other friends I have and who have you got? Your Mum, sister and me? Well, let’s just say you have one less!!”
I tried to drown out this maniac’s scream and grabbed my iPod, selecting ‘Shuffle’. Annoyingly, every song reminded me of what Lily and I had been through.
“Never mind, I’ll find someone like you!” Lily had sneered to me playfully when singing Adele’s ‘Someone Like You’
“Eehh! Macarena!” We danced to down the corridor in 5thYear.
Tears once again began to fall from my itchy, reddening eyes. Lily was my best and my almost only friend, she had never truly hated me and I had never hated her. Our parents always joked which father had cheated on which mother and conceived two children because we behaved so alike. And now it seemed like we were so incredibly different. She was the shining star and I was the unappreciated silver moon.
I willed myself to stop crying and eventually my cheeks and under eyes returned to a bluish ill grey. Deciding that I definitely needed some sleep, I pulled off my jeans and shirt to scramble across the dimly lit room towards the bathroom. I performed by usual bed time routine before wandering back into my room. As soon as my foot had sunk into the fluffy carpet, I caught a glimpse of someone I recognized. In my head I tried to remember and reanalyse the face I had seen in the corner of my room. A part of me knew it was Jacob. But a stronger part of me, made me stop thinking about him; ignore my imagination and get to sleep. I agreed with the sensible part of myself and snuggled into the icy covers of my bed.