It was your decision, now you find yourself looking back, and regreting it.
Even though this is just the beginning, it feels as if you've reached the end. There is no yellow brick road to follow, no bread crumbs to lead you. Just you, and the sound of your heartbeat against your ear.
With your hand, you wipe the sweat off your forehead. It's cold to the touch. And as your eyes adjust to the dim light, you start to see the silhouettes of your past. They are displayed to you in black and white, just like the old movies. You see your life in flashes, too quick for the human mind, but yours seems to capture them all with ease. You grasp at them, but they fade away, vanishing quickly like does happy moments you used to experience.
You can taste old chewing gum in your mouth, and it reminds you of when you would keep the same piece all day long when you were a kid, even though the flavor was long gone. Just like your first love, which you stubbornly held on to, although you knew it was over long before it begun.
You clench your teeth in frustration, wishing for the silhouettes to completely disappear, and stop the torment. Because you know now, it's very clear, that you should have listened. Your mother's voice, sweet and gentle, rests at the back of your mind, and reminds you yet again of your loss. And your father's voice, booming with authority, scorns you.
Now that the darkness is gone, your heartbeat dims, and is replaced by the tears of your beloved. The sobs in your ear, you know, are real. And you stretch your hand, as far as you can, to touch that tender cheek on which the tears rest on. The gasp that escapes those tender rose lips, and the shine of those big, round eyes, make your guilt rise, from your gut to your eyes. Your hand slides down and rests by your side, leaving you with a loss of warmth.
You can't give up.
Even though your body is numb, the strong smell of rubbing alcohol awakens all of your other senses. And the tears that your mother shed, awakens your heart.
No, it's true. This is not the end. This is the beginning.