I don't know why I did it; why I kissed Annabelle. It just felt so natural for me to do at that moment. She was so close so I just leaned in and pressed my lips against hers. Having never kissed a girl before, I didn't know exactly what to do but I'm pretty sure I felt her kiss me back as passionately even before she broke away and made a run for it.
I stared after her as she went farther and farther from sight, catching a fleeting image of her face before she turned the corner. She was crying, tears flooding down her cheeks. That was the most I could see of her in that short second but the longing and guilt it sent through me meant so much more.
"Here's your bill," a waitress said, handing me a paper actually two. Apparently I had to cover for Annabelle's short snack too just because I'd sat with her. No, that doesn't make sense. Because you kissed her!
"We already paid in the front," I muttered, clearly not caring. The waitress continued to stand around and I knew exactly what she wanted. Sighing, I took out my wallet, searching for the right denominations. "Keep the change," I muttered then stood up abruptly, walking back towards the direction of home. I didn't need to get a cab this time, instead surrendering to my solitude on the way back. But that wasn't a pleasant place either, filled with my alternate self 's voice mocking my every move. It was when I entered my house that I seemed to get some peace of mind, or so I thought.
My mother was in the same place I'd left her; in the kitchen, sipping her coffee (still). She sensed something wrong with me, probably by the 'gloom and doom' expression on my face; one she'd seen too many times and knew was not supposed to be there now.
"What happened? And why're you wet?" She asked, concern evident in her tone.
Oh that too. "It's raining outside...doesn't matter. Besides, I'd like to be alone now."
"Back to your sulking corner? I don't think so." She jumped in front of me, blocking my way to the stairs. "Sit down and tell me what happened." She looked at me intently, waiting for me to give up and so I did, knowing this woman would never give me a break until I spat it all out. Once she saw me sit down, she relaxed and let go of my wrist, joining me.
Taking a deep breath, I quickly spoke the words, "I got stood up by my date and as a solution for that, I kissed my interschool club partner."
I waited for the reaction I expected, the 'oh my God, Drew! What were you thinking?' Instead, I got a grin and a, "Been there, done that," for a response.
"As long as you kissed a girl you know, you're fine. I ended up making out with a complete stranger when I got stood up." My mom grinned at me mischeviously and I groaned in exasperation.
"Why did I even come to you for advice?"
I was about to get up but she made sure I wouldn't be able to go anywhere after making a death hold on my arm. I glared at her, trying to wriggle out of her grasp but the woman was surprisingly strong enough to hold on.
"Listen Drew. In all seriousness, I'll give you some advice alright?"
My shoulders slumped down, a sign that I was ready to hear whatever she had in it for me. Noticing this, she continued, "Do you like this girl?"
"Poppy? Yeah, she's great. I like her a lot, she just totally gets me an-"
"I mean the girl you kissed."
I stared at my mother's face, not knowing how to answer that. "Well Annabelle? She's...I don't know."
"Well until you figure out your feelings for her, I don't think anyone can be of much help." My mom gave me a small smile, patted my arm and then stood up and left, leaving me alone in the kitchen. I blinked at where she'd been before, feeling completely confused before standing up and making my own back to my room.
I guess mom was right. Until I figured out what exactly I felt for Annabelle, I wouldn't be able to get past this mess I'd put myself in. What was it in that sudden impulse I had to kiss her? There was something in it; whether it be love, lust or just a pathetic desperation.
There had been that connection between us that electricity that just seemed to shock us both at random times when we were together. In those times, I completely lost myself in her and as cliché as that might sound coming out of me, it's very true.
But if it was Annabelle I had feelings for, then what to do with Poppy? I couldn't help but questions the chance of Annabelle being at the cafe at the exact time when I was supposed to meet Poppy. And she was wearing that deep blue skirt, the one identical to the description Poppy had given me. Yet...
Sighing, I shook my head and cleared my thoughts, sinking into the chair in front of the computer. Without questioning what it is I was about to do, I turned the computer on and waited for it to load. After a few minutes of prepping myself up and getting changed into something more comfortable and less wet (seeing as I'd walked in the rain without even caring), I sat myself back down in front of the computer, signing into chat.
It took a while for it to get in because of the slow internet connection, partly because of the rain I was guessing. But when it did, an offline message popped up and I jerked front in my seat, reading it quickly.
Poppy Brant: Where were you?