But no. Don't do it, you've lasted this long. All this time would be wasted if in one little instant temptation won. People won't destroy this. They can think what they like, and believe what they wish, but your the only one who understands and knows the entire story.
Such high hopes for this moment though, but it was everything you feared.
Sitting down angrily writing. The subject is "My Problems."
Where to begin. There is no beginning. So you begin to quickly write down the one that came to mind, then that one led to another, and then another.
Family issues. Self-esteem issues. Communication. Unloved. Responsible. Perfection. Hurt.
A page and a half. You look at all the problems, and are overwhelmed by the chore ahead of you.
You'll never be fixed.
Lord, please heal my broken heart. I'm so broken. Please fix me. I'm so dirty on the inside. Please help me see the beauty on the inside, because I hate who I've become and the way I act.
I sit there for a moment, waiting for a bolt of lightening. No bolt of lightening.
But then I'm reminded of a song He gave me, telling me of my inner beauty.
Thank you Father for your unfailing love towards me. People will leave me, they won't understand, but your the only one who is there.
Peace. I love you. I understand you. I am your sustaining grace.