BBC Merlin: Revenge Of The Girls

When Arthur is unappreciative of Morgana and Gwen's hard work they decide a little revenge is in order...


Arthur had been an idiot once again and it was time he was taught a lesson. When I say he had been an idiot to be precise I mean that he had been very unappreciative of Morgana and Gwen’s stew that they had kindly made for him after his hard days work of training.

He had had reason to stab it with a dagger though. Morgana had not skinned the rabbit properly and it had tasted disgusting so when Arthur yanked a knife out of his belt and attacked the stew claiming it was alive he was not far of the tracks if a bit harsh.

As you can imagine Morgana and Gwen had not taken this at all well as they had spent hours making the soup so they decided a little revenge was in order.

The plan was pretty simple. It had mostly been Morgana’s idea with a little added extra from Gwen. What they were going to do was wait until Arthur was in his bath and then sneak in and steal all his clothes. Then, that completed, they would tie the clothes to the uppermost flagpole of the castle for all to see.

And so it was that Morgana and Gwen could be found outside the door that led to Arthur’s bathroom. They had already ransacked his room of clothes so now all that remained was to get to the ones inside the bathroom.

“Go get the clothes. I’ll keep watch.” Morgana said, desperately trying to suppress a giggle.

“Why me?” Gwen cried.

“Just get on with it!” Morgana said, already posting herself at the door to keep watch.

Grumbling, Gwen crept up to the door and slowly opened it, taking extreme care not to let it creak, a wet waft of steam escaped from the crack as she did so. Through the steam she could just make out a blonde head that every so often burst into a tuneless whistling.

Swallowing Gwen searched the room, praying that the clothes weren’t far away. Her eyes eventually fell over a heap that had been flung carelessly into a corner not to far from the door. Going down on hands and knees she crawled in, thankful that the floor was stone and not creaky wooden floorboards. Quiet as a mouse she reached the clothes and bundled them into her arms. Silently sighing with relief she turned round to go back to the door. Suddenly there was a scraping noise and with some horror she realized that her foot had caught on a chair, causing it to move noisily over the floor. 

“Who’s there?” The prince behind her said.

Crawling for her life Gwen hurried out of the room, the bundle of Arthur’s clothes still in her arms.

“He’s coming!” She hissed hysterically to Morgana, climbing to her feet and slamming the door behind her. The handle began to rattle furiously.

“RUN!” Morgana yelped and dived out the door at breakneck speed, Gwen hot on her heels.

“MORGANA!” Arthur bellowed down the corridor as the two girls skidded round a corner.

“What’s going on?” A voice suddenly said making Arthur jump out of his skin.

“Merlin! Thank goodness! Morgana’s stolen my clothes! You’ve got to help me!” Arthur fumed, hiding behind the door. Merlin sighed.

“This is about the stew isn’t it? I told you-“

“Shut up! Get my clothes back!”

“Do it yourself! You deserve it!” Merlin said indignantly, already walking away.

“No! Wait! Come back! I can’t!” Arthur cried, aghast.

“Can.” Merlin said.

“Wha-“ Arthur began but was interrupted by a red scarf flying into his face and wrapping itself around his soggy head.

He briefly saw a scarfless Merlin turning the corner at the end of the hall, an evil grin on his face. That boy certainly had a wicked sense of humour.

Arthur would make him pay for this but it (unfortunately) would have to wait. His first priority was retrieving his clothes.

Wrapping the accursed scarf around his pride Arthur, already blushing with embarrassment, snuck out of the door and sidled down the corridor.




“All right where are they?!” Arthur raged into Morgana’s chambers, gripping the scarf firmly and blushing a violent shade of red.

The two girls burst into a delirious fit of laughter, Morgana on the floor in stitches. Arthur’s pallor turned from red to scarlet.

“Where! Are! They!” He snapped savagely, a bloodthirsty inferno raging in his eyes.

“F…f…f…flagpole!” Gwen managed to point to the ceiling and croak between a series of rib rattling laughs.

Blushing a ridiculous reddish purple Arthur stormed out of the room and thundered down the stairs, a maid at the foot of it fainting and dropping a tray of food.




Leaping up the stone steps to the flagpole three at a time Arthur burst out into the open air, noticing that every single item of his clothing was tied like a number of oddly shaped flags to the pole, his boxers at the very summit like a cherry on a cake.

All most dead with relief that a guard wasn’t there Arthur swooped over to the pole and began to shinny up it, collecting clothes as he went.





“My lord? Is that your son?” A general asked the king who was pouring over a few maps on a table in the courtyard.

“Humph. Where?” Uther lifted his head and followed the direction his general was pointing in.

A man, Arthur to be precise, was half way up a flagpole, wearing nothing but what looked like a red scarf. He seemed to be gathering a bunch of clothes that someone had tied to the pole.

Uther grated his teeth with a mixture of anger and embarrassment and thundered towards the stairs that led to the castle turret.


He found his son at the very top of the mast untying what looked very much like a pair of boxers.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING! GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!” The king roared, absolutely furious that his son had dared to embarrass him in front of his general.

Arthur almost fell of the pole in surprise but regained his wits and slid down, yanking a shirt over his head.

“EXPLAIN YOURSELF BOY!” The king shouted wildly, grabbing Arthur by the arm and cuffing him over the head.

“It was Morga-“ Arthur began.

“No! No! I don’t want to hear it! I’m going to apologize! Go to your room and stay there!” The king practically dragged Arthur down the stairs and stormed away, muttering something about brainlessness under his breath.

Arthur threw on his trousers, still blushing madly.

This was all Morgana and Gwen’s fault! Thing was that he couldn’t throw them in the stocks as they were girls. He needed to vent his anger on someone.

Right on queue Merlin rounded the corner and an evil leer appeared on Arthur’s face.

“Ahh! Merlin!” Arthur growled and slung an arm round the poor boy’s shoulders.

“Ahh. Arthur.” Merlin grimaced.

“You know I think the stocks are getting lonely.”




The End 

The End

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