BBC Merlin: Camelot, Here We Come

Ever wondered what would happen if The Doctor and Rose meet Merlin and Arthur? Wonder no more...

 

The Doctor was clearly in his element as he danced around the Tardis’ mushroom shaped control panel, flicking switches everywhere and occasionally pulling a lever with his foot or elbow. As he gleefully cranked a handle and kicked a few springs, Rose had to hurriedly put down the book she was holding and grab onto the chair as the Tardis rocked fiercely.

The Doctor flashed her a devious grin before beginning to prance around the panel again, babbling something about bananas. Who knew what he was on about this time?

Rose fell into the chair she had been using to steady herself, crossed her legs, lent back and opened her book. She’d delved deep into the Tardis and discovered the library where she had rummaged around in until a book took here fancy.

This particular book was named ‘Always Changing’. She didn’t really understand that title but she began to read it nevertheless. A few pages in, she found it to be a non-fiction about ‘the essence of blue’ – whatever that meant.

The Doctor produced a hammer from somewhere and promptly whacked a misbehaving sphere, causing the Tardis to once again shake violently. Being tossed around on the seat like a rag doll, the book in Roses hands shut with the vibrations. As the Tardis calmed down again, Rose re-opened the book, only to find it had changed completely. No more ‘essence of blue’ could be found but it had instead turned into a documentary about buffalos. She understood the title now.

After a few minuets of opening and closing the book, receiving different pages every time, she came across ‘The Arthurian Legend’. This seemed relatively interesting so she began to read.

“WHAT YA DOING?”

Rose jumped and took a deep breath as The Doctor sidled around the chair, sniggering, and plummeted heavily down next to her, leaning his legs on the Tardis control panel. 

“You scared me to death!” Rose exclaimed crossly, but when The Doctor began to grin like a lunatic she couldn’t help but laugh.

“Well, lets see then.” The Doctor said, pulling the book towards him so it sat between their laps, “Ah, the Arthurian Legend.” He announced, peering at the book while whipping his specks out of a pocket and balancing them on his nose, “Though, in truth, not such a legend.”

“What do you mean?” Rose asked curiously.

“King Arthur, Merlin, Knights of the Round Table! It’s all true!” The Doctor informed her, beaming down at the book that was opened on a page showing a sword that Rose guessed was Excalibur, “I helped make the table!”

“Did you scrawl ‘The Doctor was here’ all over the underside, or something?” Rose asked with a laugh.

“Yeah, did actually.” The Doctor replied, much to Rose’s bafflement, while leaping up and attending to a flashing light on the console, “Hey, wanna go see them?”

“See who?”

“Merlin and Arthur, of course!” The Doctor said, bashing the light that was now screeching an alarm.

“Oooh!” Rose exclaimed, clapping her hands with excitement, “Yeah!”

“Camelot, here we come!” The Doctor replied delightedly.

 

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

 

“Brilliant.” The Doctor laughed, stepping out of the Tardis, “Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant! Just get a lungful of that fresh medieval air! And look at that sky! I mean look at it! It’s like Elton John’s glasses…only bigger! Well, what do you think to the glorious kingdom of Camelot, Rose?” He ranted, throwing his arms out at the white castle before him and grinning like a maniac, his long brown coat flying out behind him.

“Yeah, yeah, just coming.” Rose’s poked her head out of the Tardis’ door, pulling a blue jacket on and gazing at the sky the Doctor was gesturing at so gleefully.

“You’ve seen new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new earth, the end of the world daleks and cybermen but this? This is what’s really interesting!” The Doctor said as Rose joined him, “Just the peace and tranquillity of Camelot!”

“Yeah? Well who are we to miss it?” Rose chuckled, linking arms with the Doctor as they walked down the hill towards the huge castle.

As they entered the town, they found it was market day, stalls full of fruit and other wares, men shouting prices at passers by and trying to beat the opposing stalls with both voice and expense.

The Doctor strode ahead, spinning on his heels every now and then and beaming at every little detail of the medieval scene, chuckling with the delight only the Tardis could bring. He appeared to be about to begin another of his speeches but Rose wasn’t listening and never got to hear what he had to say. She had just seen one of those priceless sights that you only ever got to see with The Doctor. In this case it was someone getting pelted with fruit.

He had black hair, big ears, highly set prominent cheekbones and sparkling electric blue eyes. She didn’t know what it was, but there was something about him that made her like him instantly.

Jogging over, she had to duck as a tomato whizzed past her ear and hit the boy square in the face. He didn’t even seem to mind and just grinned ludicrously at his attackers who were off to fetch more fruit.

“Hi,” Rose said, dodging another flying veg, “I’m Rose!”

He looked up and seemed to be rather confused by her jeans and jacket but brushed it aside.

“Hi-” He replied and was about to say more but suddenly a carrot came shooting through the air and lodged itself firmly in his mouth.

“What’s that?” Rose asked as he began making muffling noises and pointed at the carrot, “Get it out?”

A furious nod appeared to mean ‘yes’ so she pulled the carrot out, just as the Doctor came trotting over, hands dug deep in his pockets. 

“Made a friend?” He asked Rose who smiled, “Wotcha, I’m The Doctor.” The Doctor said, addressing the boy while vigorously shaking his fruit splattered hand.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Merlin.” The boy replied, eyes sparkling more than ever. 

Rose reeled and The Doctor laughed happily.

“What? You’re Merlin? As in Merlin, Merlin. The Merlin.” Rose gawped.

“Now, now. Don’t be rude.” The Doctor said.

“Yeah, but-”

“What? Expected him to be old his whole life?”

“Well, no-”

“Ignore her. She’s from Brazil.” The Doctor told Merlin who looked decidedly confused.

“Have you ever considered growing a beard?” Rose asked, grinning.

“A beard?” Merlin repeated foggily.

“Yeah, a really long white one.” Rose made a beard motion under her chin, which only seemed to baffle him further.

The Doctor was looking around now, wondering where they could find King Arthur. Perhaps Merlin would know.

“You wouldn’t know where King Arthur is by any chance, would you?” He inquired.

“King?” Merlin’s eyebrows knitted into a frown, “Nah, he’s just a prince. He’s around somewhere. Just look for someone with a prattish pout.”

“You know Arthur?” Rose asked while The Doctor interrogated someone about what year it was – receiving the answer ‘612’.

“Yeah,” Merlin responded, “I’m his servant.”

“What’s he like?” Rose asked with fascination, “Is he handsome?”

“No, he’s grotesque.”   

“GET OUT THE WAY!” Someone shouted.

Rose spun around to see a broad shouldered, blonde boy tensing up, ready to hurl an especially squashy tomato at poor Merlin.

“NOOO!” Merlin cried but to no avail.

The fruit sailed through the air and, with a satisfying ‘splish’; it exploded all over Merlin’s face, leaving him dripping with red juice.

“Prat.” The young warlock hissed under his breath, trying to rub the slime off his face.

“That was for getting yourself thrown in the stocks and calling me ugly.” The blonde waltzed over, giving Merlin an unwelcome noogie.

“I called you grotesque.” Merlin corrected with a devilish grin, “Are you gonna let me out or not?”

“Maybe-“ Arthur began but then caught sigh of Rose, “Wow…umm…I mean, hi.” He took her hand and planted a kiss on the back of it, “I’m Arthur.”

The Doctor was having none of the flirty glances the prince was now sending Rose, so he quickly barged in-between them, puffing his chest out crossly. Arthur was forced to step back and narrowed his eyes.

“Who are you?” He asked suspiciously, eyeing The Doctor’s strange attire.

“I’m the Doctor.” The Doctor answered huffily.

“I’m Rose.” Rose said from behind him, poking her head over his shoulder and grinning.

Arthur smiled at her but glared at him.

“Where are you from?” He demanded icily.

“Erm…” The Doctor thought quickly, “We’re from…The Land of Britney Spears.”

Arthur looked sceptical.

“Never heard of it.”

“Really?” The Doctor asked with mock surprise, “Oh, its amazing. Right, Rose.” He nudged Rose.

“Oh, yeah, yeah. Amazing.” Rose said quickly, batting her eyelashes at Arthur, hoping that would distract him from asking any more awkward questions. Thankfully, it worked.

“Right…” Arthur muttered, “What’s your business in Camelot?”

“Sightseeing.” The Doctor answered truthfully.

“Err…look, if you hadn’t noticed, I’m still here.” Merlin reminded them all with raised eyebrows.

Arthur sniffed at The Doctor before talking a ring of keys off his belt and unlocking the stocks. Merlin pulled himself out and stretched.

“How did you get yourself in there, anyway?” Arthur inquired, putting the key back on his belt.

“I was trying to get your clothes cleaned when tripped over…something…and spilt the water all over a passing knight…” Merlin told him sheepishly whilst brushing the remains of fruit and veg off his shirt.

“Idiot.”

“Prat.”

The insults turned into a wrestle.

 

The End

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