I stand in the living room huffing and puffing as Mom cooed over how pretty I was in the dress. I hated it. I hated the flimsy tightness. I hated the breeze hitting my boobs. I hated the material tangling around my legs. The happiness was gone, replaced with the crankiness of before.
"I feel like its going to disintegrate if I so much as take a step." I complain, flapping my sleeve covered arms. I dramatically gasp, "I swear, I just lifted off the ground just now."
"Oh hush," Mom scolded, slapping at the sleeves that I was currently flapping in her direction. She backs up and looks me over, her eyes slowly beginning to fill with tears.
My eyes widen in horror, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." I hurriedly try to roll up the sleeves, but with no success.
She gives a watery laugh, "You didn't hurt my feelings, dear. I was just thinking of how much I'm going to miss you." Then the tears started pouring, and she lets out a sob that she quickly tries to cover with her hand. I awkwardly give her a hug, and offer my sleeves as tissues. When it comes to peoples feelings, I feel like a little kid. I can't seem to understand what's wrong with them, or what to do about it.
After a while, she pulls away and sniffles one last time before asking, "You were out playing with your blades, weren't you?" I flinch. Was wondering when she was going to ask that.
"Yea.." I answer. "Do you think I'd be allowed to bring them?"
"Of course not. But I doubt that will stop you." she gives me her sunny smile, the only sign of her break down being her slightly red eyes.
I give her a mischievous grin, "Sure won't. I think I might even wear them the entire time. On the ship and in the academy."
"Oh, please don't" she groaned, locking me with a motherly glare.
"Fine...I'll just wear them on the ship...and around the academy sometimes." she narrows her eyes at me. "What? There may be assassins around or something!"
"Excuses, excuses." she says in a sing song voice as she heads to her room. "Good-night, love. Get plenty of rest, you have a big day tomorrow!" and then her door closes. I quickly walk to my room, ready to rip the atrocious dress off me. And when I get there, I do just that, changing into my bed wear and climbing into bed. I make sure to blow out the candle on my nightstand before snuggling into my pillow and covers. I take in the sounds of the night, listening to the crickets chirping, and the soft breeze rustling the branches of trees. Breathing in, I smell my own warm scent on my pillow, wondering how long it will take for the pillow I will sleep on at the academy to smell the same. Slowly, as I lay there in the dark, reality begins to take hold, closing its cold fingers around my neck until tears begin to burn my eyes, and finally tumble down my cheeks. This is how I spend my night, crying until I fall asleep in my own tears.