Death Note Fanfiction. Takes place while L and Soichiro are watching Light on surveillance cameras.
The secret surveillance cameras showed Light Yagami entering the house. Soichiro tensed, afraid that his son might do something incriminating, while at the same time believing he wouldn't. L, calm as ever, took another bite of cake as he watched the screen.
Soichiro looked on, mortified, as he witnessed his son pull out a porn magazine. Eyes wide, he exclaimed, "I can't believe my son—!"
L cut him off. "That's perfectly normal for a seventeen year old. When I was seventeen, I did strange things, too."
Soichiro eyed the detective, now feeling slightly uncomfortable.
There was silence for a few minutes, before L broke it by saying, "Light has good taste in porn magazines."
It was in that horrible moment that Mr. Yagami realized just the full extent of L's social inadequacies.
Light's voice was picked up by the wiretaps. "Dang—fooled by the cover again. That's too bad."
Soichiro wanted to crawl under a rock and die. Instead, he settled on taking a sip of coffee.
"Indeed, that is too bad," L muttered, licking the whipped cream off of his lips.
The boy's father almost choked on his drink.
Just shut up just shut up just shut up!
"I wonder how much porn he has up there," L wondered aloud.
Soichiro Yagami paled and coughed pointedly, hoping that the man would get the hint and cut it out with the awkward commentary.
Light began changing into his pajamas.
Don't speak. Don't speak. Don't speak.
"You know, Mr. Yagami, your son has a very good body for a 17-year-old. He's very well-built."
"Ryuzaki!" Soichiro slammed his hand down on the desk. "This is my son! Do you not realize how incredibly creepy your comments are? !"
L bit his thumb. "Oh, I apologize. I'll stop, then."
"Thank you," Soichiro breathed.
Silence reigned for at least five minutes.
Then, suddenly—"Your daughter appears to be quite attached to your son. I wonder if she has romantic feelings for him."