Joe made it out of his home without a hitch (his home was average in every way a home could be). Joe had made it to his car without difficulties (his car had cost an average amount, was of average quality and age, and performed averagely). He had even made it out to the street without any trouble (his street was in average shape, and was in an average neighbourhood of an average suburbian sprawl).
It, unfortunately, wasn't until somewhere around half-way to his destination that the problem occurred. It began with an accidental glance; it was of insignificant length, and off of which reflective surface, he was unclear, but at some point in time it happened.
After that, it was all downhill. He was glancing more and more frequently now, still not aware of what he was doing and still increasing in amount of sideways looks
Eventually he came to realize what had been subconsciously catching his eye, and he didn't like what it was one bit. He tried to fix the problem using simple adjustments and an increasingly above-average amount of staring at himself in hir car's mirrors, but to no avail.
No matter what he did, he could not make the bowtie look average.
He had chickened out of this non-conformist tie business and wanted the situation remedied, quick.
Pull yourself together, Joseph.
It was a very average thing to say in dire times, and this fact more than anything else calmed him.
Now he had to think of a resolution to this problem, and quick; he would be at his date's house in no time at all, even going at an average speed. He considered simply removing the bowtie, but he decided he would either look as though he was of below-average formality or below-average normalcy, neither of which he was particularly fond of.
He was beginning to panic now. This small piece of material that set him apart from others such as it did was not worth the time at all, and he would be sure to be rid of it as soon as possible. Once more, his thoughts calmed him. He would be rid of the bowtie after this and there would be no more problems. Even an average man was allowed to wear something out of the ordinary once in a while; it would balance out anything he wore than was a little too ordinary elsewhere.
But then he remember the reason for the nervousness in the first place. This was a date he was going on, not some average day at work!
And, for neither the first or the last time that night, his thoughts saved him.
Work! My briefcase has a spare tie in it!
While stopped at a red light, he fiddled around with the levers and such that controlled his seat, trying to obtain a commanding view of the vehicle and its contents. Had he left his briefcase in the vehicle? Had he not?
And then he saw it; a black corner of something or other sticking out from underneath the passenger's seat. He let out a whoop of average volume and tenacity and reached for the case. That is, until the driver behind him honked at him; the light had turned green.
Cursing his luck, he obediently began driving again, occasionally shooting longing glances at the suitcase. When he spotted a pedestrian walking sign up ahead flashing its warning, he slowed down to a less comfortable pace and tried to outlast the light without appearing too much like he was driving at a below-average speed.
He managed to indeed miss the light, and quickly grabbed the suitcase from under the other seat, struggling with the clasps for an average amount of time before opening it to an average quantity of papers and other average suitcase-filler. He shuffled the items around until he found the plain black tie he was looking for, and he grabbed it triumphantly.
Exuberance was quickly replaced with exhiliration as he looked back up and, upon noticing that the light had turned green, put the pedal to the metal. It was very un-average of him, but he found himself feeling strangely frisky.
One more red light took care of the switch of ties and gave him time to throw everything in the back seat, and then he pulled up in front of his dates house with minutes to spare, the whole time smiling like he was on some sort of adventure.
What is it about today...?