Seven times Eleanor’s gone missing in twelve days! Each time, so far, she has returned in the morning, always a bit bashed around but no serious injuries to be seen. Nothing on the surface. Kate is despairing. I heard her praying last night, as she had stayed over to keep an eye on Elle.
“God, why are you doing this?” she prayed. She was actually crying. Usually, she won’t let her guard down when she knows I am near, in case it makes me feel worse. “Why her? Why me?” I felt horribly guilty, overhearing this, so I slipped away. Inside, though, I feel like saying exactly the same thing. Why her? Why me? Kate is so brave. She never cries in front of me, and never seems to despair. I think she feels that if she appeared to lose strength, it would make me lose it too.
She’s wrong. Nothing could make it worse for me.