I’ve just had my first day of home tutoring. Well, it’s at Elle’s house, really. But after everything that’s happened – and I did actually spend a lot of my time over there – it’s become a sort of second home to me, despite the fact that most of the memories are unhappy. Home schooling was a strange experience, but it beats going to school! For once, I didn’t have to put up with having the worse class in the school!
Yesterday, I had some alone time with Elle. She’s not getting on well with her family and despite six weeks without drugs, her addictions still haunt her. She cries a lot, too, when she talks about her ordeal. That’s only fair, I think. Anyone I know would cry in her place, and my friends have the reputation of being the bravest in the school, although in our school that isn’t always a good thing. It’s the sort of reputation that means teachers automatically suspect you – that’s where we cart out Eleanor because everyone always believes her. She’s such a goody two shoes! I wish people could see what she was really like.
“They made me feel,” she told me, “that all I was worth was what someone would pay for me.” Later on, she added, “Being sexually abused was the worst thing that ever happened to me. If this is what life is like, I don’t want to live any more.” After that we just held each other and cried.
Elle’s still painfully thin. She’s so unused to good food that when she eats, it makes her sick. She’s also very weak, so I help her mum with looking after her.
Although she has tendencies to be angry and violent, she’s grateful for being rescued. I know that her mind will be scarred for a long time but we’re all trying to help her, and it’s obvious that she is doing her best to put it all behind her and get on with life.
Me? I just want the newspapers to leave her alone. She hates the publicity and I am sure it’s not helping her recover. Her family have had to threaten journalists to make them go away.
“I’m not letting you make money out of my daughter’s pain!” her mum exclaimed when they came knocking on the door at some ridiculous time of night. That made them shut up. I don’t think they’d thought of it like that. Still, they’ve not given up. I bet some of them will come back.