As punishment for embarrassing his parents, an alien finds himself exiled to a small town in rural Nebraska.

It was really unfair that my parents decided to punish me.

Okay, so I admit...maybe I deserved it, at least a little. I had spent the previous night picking up women, hanging with my bros, and doing some drugs here and there. But for the most part, no harm no foul right?


I could tell when the time came to giving me a swift punishment, both of my parents were not happy. My mother was playing the whole "I can't-bear-to-watch-my-embarrassment-of-a-child" card. My father, on the other hand, was almost incandescent with rage.

It's not easy being the son of a military general sometimes.

My father was the first to speak.

"Alex, now you listen to me!", my father said.

As if I could go anywhere?

"I've had it up to here with all of this juvenile nonsense. You're becoming an embarrassment to your mother and I. You're destroying my reputation in the army. You've accumulated over $20 million in parking tickets, 10,000 citations for unlawful behavior and possession of marijuana, cocaine, you want me to continue?" my father said.

I was really tempted to say "yes!" at this point, but thought better of it. My father was managing to keep it together, somewhat, and it didn't seem like a good idea to push him over the edge.

After a minute or two of silence between all of us, my mother spoke.

"Alex, I'm concerned about your well-being as my son. You know this can't continue..." my mother began, before my father interrupted.

"This isn't going to continue!", my father shouted. "We've had this conversation one too many times, and frankly I'm fed up now. So as punishment, we're banishing you to Nebraska until you change. Maybe some time isolated in the cornfields of Nebraska will teach you what really matters."

Looking back in hindsight, I wish I had fought tooth and nail against my parent's decision. Even though it would have humiliated me, I should have fallen to my knees and begged for mercy. But I suppose in the heat of the moment, and partially out of spite, I decided to go with it.

"Okay", I said. "Where in the universe is this place called Nebraska?".

The End

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