Miss Biggles stood in front of a class of Glasnosia's finest. Every year the same, little brats sticking fingers into their nose holes and smearing the extracted contents all over areas of her classroom she would surely come in contact with eventually. Naturally Miss Biggles wasn't your brightest. She was a grouchy young teacher who had only been in the profession for five years. In every spare moment of Miss Biggles' time she was usually indulging in some sort of mental fantasy about a man. Any man. She was desperate for anything at this stage. After a moment's pause to indulge in a perverted moment, she continued on with her lesson.
"In the beginning there was the universe, completely blank, sort of like a slate but there was no marker to be found so the universe had to do the next best idea which came to its mind, which was to ooz."
Miss Biggles pointed at her clean white electronic slate.
"What does ooz mean?", Little Klashara asked, her eyes brightly lit up and ready to learn.
"Well, if you eat a hot dog, you could say ketchup may ooz out onto your sausage", Miss Biggles said.
The electric board began to ooz out a drawing automatically, a pre-programmed ooz drawing. It was just a small dot, about an inch in circumference. The board turned black and the ooz spot was a milky white.
"What scientists at this point in time conclusively know to just be a general oozing out in dribbles and sometimes drops."
"How do the scientists know that?" asked Clara.
"They asked the universe", Miss Biggles breathed deeply, clinging to her patience. None of this mattered anyway.
"How did they ask the universe?".
"When the universe came to visit, somebody asked", another sigh.
"When did it come to visit?". Klashara asked.
"Well, the last time it visited was before mankind left earth", sigh, "No more questions!"
Miss Biggles then began to talk at a rapid pace. She just needed to get this lesson over with. It was the worst lesson of the year. After this everything else was drilling silly small bits of information into every child's brain until their minds were totally destroyed and they'd usually end up working for the government if she did her job just right. The class curriculum is as follows:
Then the universe, excited at its own amazing progress suddenly blasted out an enormous body of matter right onto the void like nothingness which had some rather complex dimensions and the matter didn't behaved initially as the universes mind expected at all. The presentation during this part of the story will show a complex multi-dimensional arrangement on the electronic wall slate, please do not be alarmed. After some initial panic, some of the parallel universes around the universe that Glasnosia came to be in, helped Glasnosia's parent universe settle into a general ordering of things. Initially the universe created some stars and saw that these stars were boring so it smashed them into tiny pieces and made other stars, but they weren't good either so the universe sucked them into black holes. The slate shows planets being sucked down black holes with circulating grid to show the gravitational pull, a popping sound can be heard as the planets pop off.
After a while the universe got bored and fell asleep. Processes went on by themselves while the universe did the universes version of snoring loudly in an unhindered manner. When the universe woke up, quite unaware it'd napped off, it discovered that one planet in particular had gathered some rather interesting life on it. The planet had managed to build-up an interesting range of bi-pedal creatures who seemed to be forming small communities. The universe immediately went in to communicate, but failed to do so. After many attempts it found ways to get in touch with the inhabitants of the small planet, or at least one small tribe. After quite a bit of dialogue the universe realized it didn't like the inhabitants one bit and flooded the entire planet with water. Afterwards the universe completely smashed the planet just to make sure nothing had really survived. The universe saw that this was good. The universe wondered around itself quite a bit more, accidentally bumping into many more planets which had accidentally evolved dinosaurs, other odd creatures and then these horribly annoying monkeys which formed communities. The universe tried various tactics, first it would teach the people to love one another, then kill one another, sometimes the universe got civilizations to amazingly advanced levels where they'd build huge bombs and blow each other to bits. This would save the universe time and effort. Having gotten bored with this game, the universe found the very last civilization in the universe.
The planet the universe found this civilization on was called Earth. After trying to get the inhabitants on the planet to get along, initially by direct attempts at communication and later by brain washing messengers that then tried to communicate with the community. The inhabitants being naturally stupid, failed to take any advice from what they thought was their imaginary friend and continued on their evil ways. Eventually the universe found a workable balance of over the top consumerism and prolific advertising that turned all the inhabitants brains to the right path and a government that pretty much limited the freedom of every inhabitant to something just short of about no freedom at all. The universe saw this and thought it was good. It decided to take a nap. While the universe was napping the inhabitants who were always trying to rebel against a free market capitalist system that clearly worked while the government regulators were simply trying to profit from the suffering of the community as they aided the forces of darkness to drive civilization to newer and greater depths of a hell, decided to leave all the regulators to the mess they'd created.