I looked again at Joe quizzically. "You don't really believe in ghosts do you? It's a silly outmoded belief based on idiotic Christian scribblings". Joe chuckled and shot me a look back. "You've got a lot to learn kid. I bet you still think the Earth is spherical too huh? That slaves built the Pyramids?" I rolled my eyes and ignored his babble. "Can we just open the bloody door please?!". He nodded.
Joe took out his spare key and turned it in the lock. "Just be careful" he warned. "I heard shrieking and thumping coming from hear all last night". When we finally busted through the door it became that nothing supernatural had occured. Rather it seemed like the aftermath of a party, with disposable cups and empty beer bottles littered around the place. Sitting at the round table in the corner of the kitchen were a bunch of guys I had the misfortune of being acquainted with.
A voice rang out and pierced my ears. "Hey look, it's Joe Schmoe and William Dickson Wrong!". The gang laughed uproariously at the mediocre jab as we stood there red-faced. The abuser was none other than campus loudmouth Richard Raspberry. Richard held a vice-like grip on the fraternity Alpha Alpha Alpha and held a lot of sway at the university. Rumour was he financed all his lavish parties and get-togethers with his small student loan of a million pounds. If you were cool and wanted to stay cool, you best be on Raspberry's good side.
Joe spat back "Shove off Raspberry, you good for nothing tyrant!". Raspberry launched up off his stool and grabbed Joe's wrist with a firm grip. "Listen up Joe, you and your little friend here are only part of this frat because you got book smarts. I created the yugest frat on this campus, and it's just got 10 guys bigger. Believe me. This university is going to so great, like you've never seen. If you don't like it you can go back to the Logicios." The Logicios were the club where the math geeks hung out, and where Joe and I ended up before Raspberry initiated us into Alpha Alpha Alpha.
Raspberry squeezed down on Joe's hand and I cried out. "That's enough, you're hurting him! We're only here bickers of the ghosts!". Richard immediately stopped and turned to me, aghast. "Well, yeah. You know, the banging and screaming last night?". Raspberry and his frat boys shot a knowing glance to one of his lackeys, Chad. Chad was the quintessential jock figure. 6 foot 4 with rippling muscles on a 5% bodyfat frame, there was no question that he was a beast. As captain of the rugby team and debate society, there wasn't a girl on campus that didn't want a night of passion with him. Chad acknowledged my confusion and spoke up "Not to worry Will, we were just having a little bash, that's what the noise was all about mate." He spoke calmly and politely, in the manner he had always addressed me, but regardless Raspberry's goons were now screaming with laughter.
"What exactly is going on!?" I angrily demanded. At that moment a beautiful blonde woman descended the stairs. Even with her tousled messy hair, I could tell it was none other than the girl of my dreams - Lucy Dance. She was wearing one of Chad's oversized shirts and a pair of boy-shorts. She shot a flirtatious glance at Chad before addressing me. "Oh, hey Will! Sorry I really was gonna tell you that the party was on bu-". I cut her off. "Y-you, with Chad?" I managed to blurt out. She paused for a moment before offering a sympathetic look.
Tears welled up in my eyes. It wasn't supposed to be like this. "What about our date? We were gonna watch Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars and Many A True Nerd's let's play of Rollercoaster Tycoon 2! I bought diet Coke and everything!" It was the perfect romantic encounter for sure. The frat boys chuckled heartily once again, even Joe, but Lucy scolded them "Stop it you guys, you're making him upset!". They simmered down but my rage was already too great. The cacophany had started in my brain. Chad had the pick of any girl he could want, why did he have to picky the down to earth nerdy Lucy? I loudly declared "You all have fifteen minutes to get the fuck out of my residential housing! You have the money, you can live somewhere else!". At that Raspberry grabbed me and began ushering me out. "Lucy! I love you Lucy! I screamed. She was meant to be mine. Raspberry shoved me out of the door and onto the hard floor. "I own this place and I own this fraternity. You're out of this frat, and if I see you messing with Chad's girl again, the retribution will be bigly. You have to go back.". With that, he slammed the door on my face. "Small handed bully" I murmured under my breath.
Hours later I was curled up in bed, self-medicating with Robinson's fruit squash, one of the only things that keeps me sane in these hard times. Joe had comforted me for a while before leaving to grab breakfast. I remembered the Doctor's words from the episode 'The Bullying of the Daleks' when he confronts the Dalek Emperor - 'Don't push me cause I'm close to the edge, i'm trying not to lose my head, it's like a jungle sometimes, it makes me wonder how I keep from going under'. It felt oddly appropriate to me now. When I got up after hours crying to wipe my eyes I noticed in the mirror that I wasn't weeping anymore, instead my eyes were glowing a luminescent bright green. Images flashed painfully through my mind, the Septagonoids, the Seven Great Empires, the Logicios, it all made sense now. I was the Farsh-nuke, and I knew now what I had to do.