Gordon is a geek. Joe is a steampunk goth. The mints hold the secret of the universe and nothing is ever easy.
Red. Fiery red. Bloody red. Winey red. Exhausted red.
All my life I've seen red when I close my eyes and all my life I've felt its various horrific connotations as I've slept.
I. Know. Red.
That knowledge failed to help me, my friends or those I loved because I didn't know how to use it, how to fight it. People died because I thought red was just some conceptual definition of pigments and light particles interacting.
You can't afford to make the same mistakes I did so I'll tell you about the dragon of Escher, the snot beast of baldroon and the temporal riptide of snarg.
It's not all doom and gloom though, there are some cock jokes in there as well, I mean when rabid vampire zombies are ejaculating parasitic viruses it's hard not to laugh.