Anywhere But HereMature

If there was one place to be completely cut off from the world, this would be it. It was a place that I had dreamed of. With no one to bother you for miles, you couldn't help but think. Sitting up on that tower, I could see the entire city, with its twinkling little lights. I thought to myself, each of those lights represented a house, a family, a home. And then I thought, each of the people in those homes, they never realized how much they were taking for granted. Each of them had the other to care for, to love, to nurture. As I sat there, I wished, as I still do, not for someone to care for me, but someone that I could care about. I wanted someone that I could hold on to and never let go. I wanted someone to sit up on that tower with me, and just to enjoy the subtle beauty of it. This was one of those little things, that everyone overlooked. It was one of the most beautiful places in the entire town, and it didn't cost a cent, unless you got caught for trespassing. But, to me, it didn't matter. I would pay a thousand times just to be able to sit there. I imagined what it would be like to look up and see me, a black figure in the shadows five or six stories up, with nothing to hold on to. I laughed at the thought, that if I fell into the black waters, there would be nothing to stop be. I wasn't afraid to be up there, nor was I afraid to fall. The slim chance that I could fall to my death was worth the risk. As I leaned over the edge, staring down into the water, a thought came to me. For a fleeting moment, I wanted just to apologize to the ones that cared about me, for not being strong enough, and to just let myself go. It would have been so easy, just to forget everything and fall, just to fall. It hurt so much, not to know who would care and who wouldn't. A tear rolled down my cheek as I stepped away from the edge. Thinking back on it, if I had stayed up there any longer than I did, I probably wouldn't be writing this right now. I was hurt in more ways than alot of people could possibly understand. As much as I brushed off the comments and the snickers, it still hurt. Every moment I thought of her, what if she was the one? What if I let her go? What if I gave up on the one person that promised she'd never give up on me? I had found the point that living hurt more than dying.

"Suicide sometimes proceeds from cowardice, but not always, because as many die because they are afraid to live, as live because they are afraid to die."

The End

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