Signed Jane Doll, Low Reserve


At lunch Alexandria was surrounded by crowd.   She was sitting next to Tyler Drew and  I squeezed between them.   She was obviously dismayed but I didn't care.    I needed to look at her phone history.   

 A girl walked up with an Plain Jane action figure  and handed it to Alexandria just as I sat down.    

"Would you please sign this?  It is for my little sister."   

Alexandria eyebrows lifted and she grinned back and said,  "Why don't you ask Peyton to sign it?"   She waved the doll in my face and then tried to hand it to me.  

The girl was slightly confused but she was so excited that nothing was registering.       Alexandria smiled at me hoping I would share in her little joke,  but I just shook my head discouragingly.    Her smiled faded and she turned her focus back to the action figure which was a classic first edition with the olive drab fatigues and pink crop top.    

"You really need to lighten up, Peyton."  She said as she turned the doll over and clicked her pen.   She hesitated and then looked back at the girl who was beside herself with expectation.  

"You aren't going to sell this on Ebay are you?"   Alexandria asked.  

"No,  I swear it is for my little sister.   She watches the cartoon everyday. "   She said with her hands clenched together in front of her in a prayer position.  

"You can get suspended for bringing that gun to school."   I warned.  

Alexandria rolled her eyes and said.   "Really Peyton,  I mean really.   It is a one inch piece of pink plastic."      

The doll carried a tiny German Glock 9mm like the one Alexandria had packed in the film but it was pink.     I actually carried a Russian,  Makarov for its utter reliability and useful deniability.   I would never carry a Glock , pink or otherwise.   It would mark me as a westerner.   But then again I would never wear a fuzzy cropped pink sweater two sizes too small or have the word Juicy emblazoned across my back pockets either.   The doll was not as absurd as the cartoon though.   Alexandria did the voice overs and although  I never missed an episode,   I hated that show.   The cartoon Jane Plain was an intense, uptight, goody two shoes with poor social skills.     Thank God I was nothing like that.  

"Alexandria,  I need to look at your phone."   I said as I held my hand out.  

"Why?"  She answered. 

"I just want to see it,  come on."

Reluctantly Alexandria pulled it out of her purse and handed it to me.   I searched her videos and sure enough there we were.    Who had taped it?   At the time my focus had been on the door and then Lester so I hadn't noticed.    

"Is that what I think it is?"  Alexandria said.  

"Yes,"  I said as I checked the sent file. 

"Oh,  no,"  She said, "Was it sent?"  

"Yes."   I looked around for a laptop.   

"Can I borrow your Macbook?"  He hesitated.  

"Please," Alexandria said with a sweet smile  and he slid it across the table to us.  

I went to YouTube and searched "Alexandria Benton' + "gunman".  

"No hits, thank God  for now anyway."   I sighed with relief.  

 Alexandria  pulled the laptop away from me and typed in "Alexandria Benton" + "bra"   and there we were in living color.     Most of the clothing exchange was taped as was my disarming Lester and there was a nice close up of Alexandria biting Lester's arm.    The sound quality was excellent for a cellphone recording.  

"It must have just gone up.   There are only 167 hits."   I said to Alexandria.  "Maybe your publicists can get it taken down."

"Are you kidding?  It is too late.  I can't believe no one has called me yet."   She said and her phone rang.  

"This is a disaster."   She groaned.   "It is all your fault for having us change clothes."

"I saved your life from that crazy perv."

"Edward Lester is not a perv.   He is schizophrenic and he thinks that I am you.  That is...  I mean,  he thinks I am Jane Plain.   And it is socially insensitive to say crazy.  Say mentally ill.   He thinks he is trying to save the universe or something. "

"He  pointed a shotgun at me."   

"And that was really bad.     But he wasn't going to kill anyone.    And now because you had to go play Ninja warrior we are going to be all over the internet in our underwear. "

I wished that were my biggest problem.     If the video went viral then it was only a matter of time till I was recognized.   I hated changing schools but there was so much more at stake than my debut in the school musical,   my first chair clarinet position or  who would play setter at the state volleyball championship.    There was the princess to consider.    If they found me then they would find her.    If they found us then they would find the arsenal.    I had to call her right away.  

"Can I use your phone Alexandria?"   

"Call me Adele,"  She sighed and handed me the phone.  



The End

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