Sleeping was no longer an enjoyable activity Bianca found. All that time longing for her own bed whilst she was in hospital was completely wasted. She wasn’t any more comfortable in her bed, with her own pillows, than she was on that piece of cardboard they had called a mattress. Depressingly, the only time she was at her most pain free, and least awkward, was when she was in her wheelchair.
With her left arm and hand the only limb that wasn’t broken or shattered, the frustration of barely being able to wheel herself from the bedroom to the kitchen got to much for her when she was tired. It was sheer stubbornness that would refuse help with this little straw of independence. And pride.
Jodie looked up from the bench as she saw the chair come around the corner, Bianca scowling. It had been a bad day. Her parents had spent the week and had left yesterday, leaving in their wake an exhausted daughter who had spent days trying to be her sarcastic self that they remembered. The last two days in particular had been particular trying, and today, mentally and emotionally exhausted, she had ripped into Jodie.
They’d left each other to themselves since lunch. Bianca hadn’t left the bed once, as uncomfortable and sore as she was. She had slept fitfully, and was sick of having not one second to herself. Not being able to do anything herself. Her leg casts were due to come off next week, and instead of looking forward to it, she was already worried about the pt sessions she’d require. She would be finally able to walk - with a cane, and lie flat in her bed.Weeks of physical therapy. And of course Jodie would be there to help her. Fucking Jodie.
They had in a sense, fallen into old habits. They were comfortable with each other, knew when to leave the other alone, when to push. Favourite foods were still the same. Movies. That safe comfort Bianca had first found solace in though, after the accident, was slowly being replaced by the hurt and anger that she’d carried around for so long after the brunette had left. Why had she come back? Seriously?
“I’m sorry,” Bianca croaked. She presented, if the circumstances were different, a slightly humorous picture. She’d parked the chair against the pantry door. Both legs in their blue casts, lifeless. Her right arm now bore a purple cast, the green having been replaced two weeks ago, resting awkwardly over the arm of the chair. Her left hand cradled her chin, her expression that of a 4 year old sulking. If the injuries weren’t so serious, the tension between them...less, Jodie would have giggled.
Jodie didn’t falter. She kept serving up the food - what, Bianca couldn’t quite tell from her viewpoint. Grabbing the cutlery from the draw, she led the way to the lounge room. Bianca resigning herself that she was going to have to do some legwork. It was time they talked. Properly. About what the fuck Jodie was doing here.
Quiche. Bianca had ripped into her all morning, like a petulant child. Jodie had been showering her, dressing her, putting up with her nightmares, sleepless nights, screams of pain, doing the shopping...everything. For two months. And now she’d made her quiche. When Bianca was the one who’d acted like an ass. She really wasn’t hungry.
“Really? You’re not going say a thing?” Jodie glanced at her, as she slowly chewed her food. Bianca knew this. She was thinking. She’d be obliterated shortly, for the woman had a way with words. So whilst she put her own monologue together, Bianca pressed on. She had to get it out.
“You left” she spat - she didn’t mean to, but she did. “You left, and that was it. Nothing. Not a word.” Jodie put her plate on the coffee table. Bianca didn’t have long. “And now, because I’m practically an invalid, you’re back, and we’re just here. Existing. And I still trust you...” and like you, but she couldn’t let that out. She gathered herself. “But you’ve flown across the world, left your home again, just up and gone because my mum rang? Have you got someone over there? What were you doing?” Jodie’s hands, resting in her lap, began to fidget. She refused to meet Bianca’s eyes. “All this, that you’ve done for me, I appreciate it. Truly.” Then she felt herself getting mad again. “But I had to get over you, and now you’re here, and we’re these strange bedfellows that share a bed, know each others secrets, and I don’t know what you want from me, or what you want full stop. Or why the fuck you’re here, and why you’re doing this.” Her voice faltered, because she was angry, tired, frustrated and sad. Overwhelmed by emotions that were see-sawing within her. As a result, she had, up until that last little bit, remained ridiculously calm.
It was out. And ridiculous. Because as Jodie had eaten as Bianca started, Bianca now found herself reaching for her own plate. Still not hungry, but it gave her something to do. There was a strange silence. It wasn’t awkward, it was uncomfortable. Just, weird. Like the whole two months had been.
Jodie tucked her legs underneath her, hugging a pillow close to her chest. Protecting herself. Bianca recognised the body language. Surprisingly, she wasn’t going to be obliterated tonight. Jodie was about to put herself on the line. Quietly, “your mum rang me, and, I just...” she picked at the pillow. “There wasn’t a question, or...I just came.”Another long silence. This one gentle. Finally, quiche now cold, “the thought of losing you, actually, completely...I just came.” And they sat there, in their own heads, taking that in. Jodie finally caught Bianca’s eye, and held her gaze, almost apologetically. Shrugged. “I couldn’t not come.”