Longing

We continued to be friends while sparks flew which we were forced to ignore. He use to phone me almost every weekend. We would talk for hours about everything and anything. This was strange for me as I hate phone conversations and had previously only spent this amount of time on the phone to my sister, Maria. This brought us amazingly close as my mother was hard to live with and I could find comfort in him when she was rolling round the house in her weekly drunken state. Except from one time when she came into my room, found I was on the phone to a boy so decided to join in the conversation by speaking to him in Gaelic, which he fortunately did not understand.

We drifted apart though. I went to Air Cadets with Ross where our relationship somehow warped from one of friendship to something creepy. Ross, Chris and I met in town one night. Whilst walking about I made an offhanded joke about Ross being homosexual and so was born a bet that if he did not kiss a girl by the end of the night then he was in fact gay. Unfortunately the girl he choose turned out to be me, on a bus. This then led to the point that he could not prove if I was female as I am rather inclined to act like  a tom boy so eventually the conversation came to the conclusion that we had to have sex to prove it. So  it began- "friends with benefits" that was to last over a year, even though I was tormented by fantasys of his best friend and he mine. Obviously Chris found out but he was under the inpression we only had sex twice when in fact we did it uncountable times in unimaginable places.

The following year, at around New Year he broke up with his girlfriend due to the distance. At this time I was with my third boy friend, who thought he was more intelligent than he actually was. He really use to annoy me. Our relationship was purely sexual. However he was not efficient enough in the bedroom so I spent a lot of time taking out my frustration by shouting at him. I was suffering from depression, unbeknown to me or anyone else so I did have my reasons. Although due to the fact that I could not stop thinking about Chris and had never stopped wanting him, you could argue that it was partly my fault. Our relationship was reasonable until one day we went for a walk, where we bumped into Chris whom I had not seen in a couple of months. He gave my boy friend a lot of hatred. His scowling reawakened in me my sleeping desires and from that moment it was over between me and my boy friend although I did try for a couple more weeks but it was not worth the effort. After the first time I met Chris my relationships have been doomed to failure. Trust me I have a lot of proof to back up this statement.

The End

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