I've Had Better Interviews

"Next on our program we'd like to welcome Dr. Hewlitt Pachinard, a visiting professor and Oxford and three time world champion tiddlywinks player.  Doctor, welcome to the show."

"Thank you, thank you ever so much, Nigel."

"I'm not Nigel.  I'm Percy."

"Oh, I'm so embarassed.  I must have been thrown off by the hat."

"But I'm not wearing a hat."

"No, but she is...the woman in the third row of the audience just there.  I know what you're up to you, you sot."

"Ahem, yes, well then..."

"Terribly sorry about that, Nigel..."


"No, I'm Dr. Pachinard."

"Yes, I know..."

"Excellent!  I've always wanted to be famous."

"Now, Dr. Pachinard, perhaps you'd like to explain..."

"Yes, of course, my book.  You see I endeavor to make use of a hermeneutic method to elucidate the constructs of a death drive and a life force as imaginal figurations of the same in relation to death as a metphorical presence in life that points to a feminine, or receptive, relationship to the appearance of death, either in the literal, imaginal, or synchronistic field."

"That's all well and good, doctor, but it doesn't explain why you have a lemur stapled to your head."

"Keeps him from going after meddlesome tarts in froofy hats.  I've got my eye on you, dirty trollip!"

"Dr. Pachinard, that's my mother!"

"Doesn't excuse her behavior any, or her fashion sense."

"Fair point, but that's all the time we have for today.  Please do tune in next week for...well, for something completely different."

"Right you are, Nigel!"

The End

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