I never wanted to move here, I never wanted anything to do with all this redneck crap. But the only person whoever really loved me, has fallen ill and won't be around much longer. I mulled this whole situation over as I sat in my English 3 class. The teacher was an old hag and rambled on in a chirpy voice that made me want to duck tape her to a damn wall to shut her up.
All I wanted was a friend, and a better life, better parents and a lot of other things I knew would never be mine. I put my hand against my face as I felt the tears coming on once again, I would never be satisfied, never amount to a thing... That's what my father always tells me, and mom says the same whether she's at the bottom of a bottle or just looking down her nose at me. I shook it off as the teacher announced we were picking partners for the work.
I wiped the tears away as the papers were handed out and the kid in front of me, Shane, I think his name was turned around and asked if I wanted to work with him. I gave him a nod and a smile that masked how I was really feeling. We were one of the first ones done so we got to talk, while the rest of the class worked in confusion and boredom, which I really couldn't blame them for this was a rather puzzling project.
"So why exactly did you move here from Denver?" He asked, "This isn't exactly the biggest hustle and bustle in the world, obviously." I nodded, explaining about my grandma's situation with her health and you could see the genuine concern in his eyes.
"Are you okay?" He asked, "That's a really rough thing to go through." I nodded, lying to him, and myself. Maybe this time I actually believed it a little bit.
"Yeah I just need a friend is all," I answered honestly now, "It's lonely when you don't know anyone, no one to trust or mistrust, talk to. Anything." My voice trailed off a little bit, I was already opening up a bit more than I'd expected, this was beginning to become weird for me, especially to say all of this to a stranger.
"Well I can introduce you to some people if you want," He said, "All of my friends are good people, I hang out with a popular crowd, but they're not the run of the mill assholes you'd expect." I was a little surprised that he'd warmed up enough, or even been friendly enough to bother talking to me, I just hoped he was right about his friends.
"Yeah, that'd be awesome," I said, "Thank you." He smiled and I returned it happily, finally managing to get past some of my problems to find a friend I could talk to, or at least I hoped I could. Inwardly I wondered how long this friendship would last, how long I would be in this town before moving again,or if I'd be stuck here until college.
I tried to shake it off but I couldn't, I couldn't shake the depression that has followed me for 16 years of my life, and I could never get over how I coped with it.