An "Orange" Production!

A silly little screenplay with my the characters from my NaNoWriMo 2010 project, inspired by the ridiculous "Orange" mobile phone adverts that play in the cinemas ...

Announcer (from behind a completely black screen): Now, are we all here?

One at a time, four other screens appear one after the other, each displaying a different face.

Dusk (peeking nervously out from the corner of the screen): What is this?

Libya: What is this about?

Dane: Huh?

Shard prods the screen irritably.

Announcer: Oh good, you're all here. So, what do you guys think of this arrangement?

Libya: Arrangement?

Announcer: Yeah! We're going to be doing the whole story by webcam!

Dane: You're not serious ...

Announcer: Why not? That way we'll have no problems with you all communicating with one another at crucial plot points, and it'll allow the audience to see exactly what you're thinking at all times! Isn't it neat?

Libya: Doesn't that rather defeat the purpose of the story?

Shard: And how exactly, are we supposed to shoot any effing probots if we're stuck in front of this screen, eh?

Announcer: Oh no no, there won't be any need for that! You see, here you can resolve all your differences without the need for violence!

Dane: What? That's pointless!

Announcer: Nobody likes a gorey movie nowadays. And now the audience can see you properly and follow your progress towards a comfortable compromise with the Diamond Order.

Libya: Comfortable compromise! After everything they've done to us?

Shard (in a dangerously low voice): No. Effing. Way.

Dane: Ah, I really don't think that would be possible ...

Announcer: Whyever not? After all, you'll all be able to share your feelings and express your opinion on the matter without feeling threatened by a true face-to-face confrontation. This system will provide a calm, positive atmosphere to prevent any ... mishaps.

Shard (sarcastically): Oh like, torture, murder, fire-fights, evil sadistic cyborgs ripping us to bits and me progressively losing my mind during the course of the story?

Announcer: Exactly!

Dane: This is ridiculous.

Libya: I agree! This isn't a story, it's a counselling session!

Announcer (somewhat irritably): You loonies need one of those.

Shard: Excuse me? (He cocks his rifle dangerously) Are you insinuating something?

Announcer (worriedly): Oh no, nothing like that! I was only ...

Shard: Only what, eh? Only what?

Announcer (whining slightly): I didn't mean to offend you, it was a mistake, an honest mistake, I -

Shard narrows his eyes and snarls at the camera. Dane and Libya snigger in their frames.

Announcer (trying to regain control of the situation): Now now, no need for violence! This is going to be settled in a peaceful, all-inclusive -

Shard snarls and hefts his rifle up so the camera lens stares down the muzzle of his gun. He pulls the trigger, the screen blurrs, and sounds of smashing equipment come from the background.

Libya giggles, waves mockingly into the camera and turns off the screen.

Dane knuckles his forehead and sighs exasperatedly: Typical (He turns the screen off)

Announcer: Wait, wait, come back, come back, I ... oh dear. (It gives a sad sigh, then it vanishes, leaving Dusk peeking worriedly into his screen.)

Dusk (anxiously): Libby? Dane? Shard? Is anyone there? ... Anyone?


The End

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