An Encounter With Silliness

It's a silly Sci-Fi i decided to write one day. It has a few tributes and parodies scattered throughout it and it's just generally a funny story.

She stood alone in the dark and the rain, lost and afraid. She looked up at the night sky through the clouds, at the moon, and the stars. But at one star in particular. A big, bright green one. She stood mesmerised by it, watching its movements. Movements? Stars don’t move, and it’s not a satellite, satellites aren’t green. It was getting closer. What was it? It was getting bigger too, and faster. It was heading straight for her. She screamed as the street suddenly got hotter and still the star got bigger. It was now seconds away. She ran down the street, trying to get away from it. It finally hit the ground. She fell over from the force of it. She looked back at it. It was odd shaped, with funny things sticking out from the sides. It was made of metal, a blue metal. At what looked like the front was a windscreen. And there was what looked like a door on the side, like the ones on passenger aircraft. Suddenly it opened; it revealed a multicoloured interior, pink, green, blue, red, yellow and orange. It looked hippie-like. There was a constant sound coming from it, it sounded like music. It was, and she recognised the music too. Led zeppelin. What on earth was it? There was another sound too. It was familiar. It sounded like…

‘BUGGER! Bugger in hell! I bloody crashed it! Again! This is going to put a dent in my pay this week! Where the hell am I?’ said a voice from inside this machine.

‘Um… This is Earth. You have crashed on earth.’ Said Mary to the voice inside.

There was a sound like a bump and an ‘OW!’ that came as a response. Suddenly a man appeared at the door. Tall, crouching low to get out of the door and rubbing his head, surprisingly handsome, looked about 25 earth years old and was wearing a thick bomber jacket with wool on the inside.

‘How the hell did I? Oh, hi. Umm… what season is it?’ the man asked

‘What?’

‘I said what season is it?’

‘Summer, why? What’s the matter? Who are you? What are you? Where did you come from, how did you crash?’ she asked the strange man.

‘Summer, eh? Oh, well, that’s not too bad, back in a mo’.’

‘Wait, who are you?’ she asked him again.

‘Um, I don’t really think it matters right now. But I will tell you in time.’ Said the man who had disappeared back inside the machine.

‘Well, I’m Mary, and this is earth, and you have just crashed on the corner of John, and Reynold Street, East Gatwick at 9:00 at night, earth time.’

‘Hello Mary, it’s a pleasure to meet you. And thanks for the update. I’m a little disorientated since… never mind.’ The man said as he stepped out of the door once again wearing appropriate summer clothing.

‘It’s a surprise to meet you sir but a pleasure none the less. Can I ask what you are doing here, how you got here and where you came from?’ Mary asked the man who sat down on the steps of the door.

‘Well, I’m an uhh, discoverer, for myself, I explore the universe and have adventures. Kind of like The Doctor except I’m not a loony and I don’t drive a police box.’

Mary laughed and sat down next to him. She was absolutely drenched from the rain abut had not noticed since this man and his machine just crashed.

‘So, are like a time lord or something? Or are you like someone from Star Wars or something?’

‘I’m not a Time Lord and what’s a starwort?’ he asked her.

‘Um, never mind, old series of sci-fi don’t worry. So, how did you get here, why did you crash, and why are you here?’ Mary asked.

‘Umm, I’m looking for someone. Someone very powerful. Have there been any unexpected weather changes lately? I may know why.’

‘Well, there is this summer; it has been really hot since the very first day of summer.  And there have been freezing cold mornings, really hot days and non stop rain at night, as you can see. Who is this person you are looking for?’ Mary asked turning to him and smiling. He was very handsome indeed. He sounded English, looked human, and had human artefacts. Like Led Zeppelin music for example and the inside his ship looks like the inside of a hippie bus. But he crashed from space.

‘His name is Jobak Krakinfart, the name is hilarious I know.’ He told her as she started giggling and laughing.

‘What’s he doing here, what are you doing here?’ she asked.

‘I don’t know why he’s here but I’m here to try and catch him. Which shouldn’t be too hard.’ He pointed to a shadow in the distance.

‘Is that him? He can change the weather? HIM??? He couldn’t even change the time on a parking meter. He’s tiny!’

‘Yes well, size doesn’t always matter. He can’t half shout too.’ He stood up, put a coat on and walked out into the rain.

‘BAVARIUS DOOGLETROT! YOU HAVE COME FOR ME! YOU CANNOT STOP ME! NO-ONE CAN STOP JOBAK KRAKINFART!’ the shadow in the distance shouted. His voice echoed all over the streets, for such a tiny man he has a massive voice.

‘No-one can stop you eh? Is that why you hid here on earth? Because you have been defeated so many times you gone and hidden in shame? No-one can stop you when The Doctor himself picked you up by the back of your neck and chucked you in a cell? Only to escape because your fellow inmate did all the work and you just slipped out when no-one was looking? That’s a bit pathetic innit'? Come on! Try a little harder will you? I have no competition!’

‘HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL THAT? I THOUGHT THAT WAS A SECRET!’ He shouted back.

‘I happen to be good friends with The Doctor. He tells me everything.

‘ALRIGHT! I GIVE UP! TAKE ME AWAY! I’VE HAD ENOUGH! FAILURE AFTER FAILURE, I DON’T WANT TO DO IT ANYMORE!’ He burst into tears and ran towards Bavarius and held out his wrists.

‘I’VE HAD ENOUGH. PUT ME IN A CELL, OR AT LEAST A RETIREMENT HOME. I NEED TO GET AWAY FROM IT ALL.’ He was bawling his eyes out as Bavarius put strange flashing handcuffs on him.

‘There see, that wasn’t too hard was it?’ He led Krakinfart away into his spaceship and turned to Mary and pulled out a long metal tube.

‘Umm, I’m not really supposed to be In contact with anyone so I have to wipe your memory. Handy little thing this, got it from MIB, they call it a Neuraliser’ He held it up and fiddled with the dials.

‘Alright get it over and done with.’ She said as he pressed a button and it flashed bright white.

‘Umm, you never saw me, I was never here.’ And with that he got back in his ship, lifted into the sky and became a bright green star once more.

The End

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