I See Way Too Much
I woke up very disoriented. Like when you wake up in middle of the night in a hotel and you totally freak out because you can't remember where you are. Except way worse because I knew there was no way I was at the Holiday Inn. Actually, I wasn't exactly sure where I was. I knew it was a bedroom but it wasn't one I recognized. Even more disturbing, I had no idea where Calvin or Darth were.
I got up and looked down the hall. No one was there but I could see lights on at the end of the hall. With increasing panic, I snuck don't the hall trying to make as little noise as possible. What if they were hurt or being tortured or-
Playing video games in the living room with the serial shover. Yeah, you read that right. They were in the living room with the lady who had brought us here in the first place playing videogames, totally fine.
She jumped a little and turned from the TV to face me.
"Oh, hi. Uh, wow, I didn't think you'd be up yet. I know your name but I don't think you know mine. I'm Rachel."
She held out her hand to shake but I just looked at her until she put it back down. Calvin and Darth saw how angry I looked and scrambled up to stand behind me.
"Where are we?" I asked flatly.
"My house, at the edge of the woods. Do you want anything to eat or-"
"Why did you bring us here? Do you want money?"
"Are you, I don't know, trying to get at our parents?"
"Then what do you want?"
"To protect you."
I laughed, "From who. From the pizza guy? You‘re the one who kidnapped us."
She looked pained, "It's...hard to explain."
"I will, I promise. I'm just waiting until," her eyes widened, "Don't turn around."
Which, of course, made us all turn around and then back immediately in grossed outedness. Because walking in through the side door was a specimen of 100 percent pure, undiluted, naked guy.