I applaud. "Bravo, Christine! Proper!"
I've seen this performance a few times now, and I have to tell you that it only gets better with practice.
You could probably say that about Anne and myself as well. At least I'd like to think so.
"I don't suppose a fine businessman such as myself could waltz into the back to speak with the brilliant Christine, would I?" The doorman at the back of the theater grunts something and scowls. "Speak up man!" I giggle, "You should speak with an authority as be given to someone of such importance." I took an AP psyche class in highschool, and I'd learned that people absolutely loved being complimented.
This fellow certainly wasn't a person.
"Sir. Perhaps, I could... persuade you..." I pass him a crisp hundred dollar bill, "to let me in to see her. It'll be no hassle what so ever, I would only like to bestow my thanks for gracing me with her performance."
This not-person mustn't be too bad on money too.
"You didn't have to throw me! I can take hint!" I yell back at him. Now, ass bruised and all, I'll just have to think of a new way to take her out.
I grab my cell phone out of my bag and call Annie. "Hey. No, dumb-butt guard wouldn't let me in. No, I didn't try flirting with him. I've got reason to doubt he'd pick up on my subtle moves. However... I don't suppose you'd like to come to a show tomorrow? They're playing this silly opera show or something. Faust is what they called it. Anyway, last showing is tomorrow and I've got an idea where you might be able to help me."
"Oh, I'm so excited! I love Broadway plays! Which one's Christine?"
"She's the lead role. I've been here a few times and they're pretty good at getting everything precise. So, in the midst of one of the acts, all the lights go out. During that time, I've hooked up an electromagnetic pulse bomb to go off and kill the rest of the power in the building. So, while the audience things it's just an extremely long pause in black, we'll be taking the girl off."
"Good plan, good plan. So, tell me again, where am I going and why is this so convenient of a way to do it?" Annie's excitement glows in her eyes. Usually we just kill people, rarely do we kidnap them and sell them, and <i>never</i> do we do it in an enormous theater of people. Any number of things could go wrong. "This is way too exciting."
"I know, I might pee myself a little. Eh-her-herm." I clear my throat. Some things should be left unsaid. Annie smiles anyway. "There's these two guys, Raoul and Erik who apparently love her or something. I don't know the whole story, but I picked enough on it that the creeper Erik has the potential to kidnap her. If we do our jobs right, we'll make it look like he did it. Then all we have to do is sell her off to that prima donna bitch."
"Yea. This really snooty, bitchy lady came to me with this whole thing about how, 'she was the talented one' and 'Christine had nothing', and 'the whole theater really wanted her.' Completely conceited. No matter, shelling out a thousand now, and two when we're done certainly makes up for her attitude."
"Three thousand? Wow, she must really have it out for her."
"Shh. The shows starting."
"MPMMMPHGGMMMMPGHMM!" The bag containing Christine was the traditional "kidnapper standard" burlap sac. With has scratchy as it is, it's pretty sturdy. Easy to see why most 'nappers use them.
"Hey, quit fussing. Be glad I cleaned the blood out and sprayed perfume to mask the vomit from the last guy I had in there. Really you should be thanking us that we did this with such niceness."
At the sound of blood, Christine freaked out. Clearly she didn't think her situation was going to improve much.
"You know, she wasn't as good as you said she was going to be. You promised me amazing, it was pretty mediocre." Annie kicks the bag and trots ahead of me. She pops the trunk open as we get closer.
I poke the bag, "See, this was the price to pay for passing mediocrity as fantastic. It'd been great the other nights I'd seen it, what was your excuse for tonight. And Jesus, would you stop writhing so much? It's getting tempting to just bury a slug in your head now." She didn't take that comment to well either.
A slight rustling in the trunk could be heard as we drove off toward the nice suburb we called home.
"Why couldn't we have knocked her out? It would have been easier to transport her and we wouldn't have had to have killed the guard." Shoes off, chair back, Annie put her feet on the dash.
"Because," I slap her feet to get them down, "I wanted not only to annoy you, but the lady told me to keep her conscious and fearful. And besides, the guard took my hundred the other day and still refused to let me in to see her. It was only natural I repay jerkishness with jerkishness. He wasn't going to give me all of his money, so I just took it." Annie nodded in agreement. "Poor guy. He was kind of cute too, in a stupid sort of way."
"I'm not sure what you saw in him. His head was much too square."
"Girl, please. Don't tell me you weren't eying his muscles and posterior. That boy was ripped. Honestly." Annie smiled that long smile. Even if we were both exhausted, we both knew it was a good night.
"So, we drop her off at this lady's home?" I roll my eyes in reaction. Annie asks, "What?".
"Well," I heave, "She'd like us to drop it off sometime before three at this hotel. I told her we weren't going back into public, so she's meeting us at our house. She wants to see what we've got in the means of helping her transport the girl around. You know, she was pretty interested on how to clean up blood too... Anyway, I told her that her payment should cover all that. I'll split it with you too if you'd like."
"You've done enough for me lately, I'll take it in dinner reservations and cosmos." How fun that sounds.
"I could go for a cosmo right now."
We arrive home and it's two. Just enough time to set up the basement.
Annie opens the trunk, a powerful smell of feces and vomit is expelled.
"Lordy girl! How unlady like. Would you like to clean her up?" I shake my head and move to open the door.
"It would be unbecoming of me to undress a woman. Not that I protest the female form in this light, but she'd probably think I was raping her or something of the sort. No sense any extremely undue stress. I'm sure you understand."
"Of course... still... So where are your rubber gloves and the such?"
"I've got a pair," I grunt and grab Christine's legs "under the sink and a spare dress, don't ask, in the closet in my room. It should fit her, I'm sure." We move the silent girl into my house, up the stairs and into the bathroom. Annie runs off to get the rubber gloves when the doorbell rings.
"Oh shoot, she's come early. Annie! I'll get the door, just worry about cleaning this girl up!" I shout down the stairs and I close and lock the bathroom door. All of the rooms in my house can be locked from both inside and out. Each have separate locks that only I have the key to.
Knock knock knock. "I see your car there!"
"Oh give me a moment will you, we only just got home and you're early. I wasn't expecting you," I open the door,"until 3."
"Where's the girl?"
"I understand some people like strong women, but we can do without this here. Christine is upstairs, my sister Annie is getting her cleaned up a bit as she had an accident, or should I said a few accidents, on the way over here. Just sit down, and let me know what I can do for you."
"Jake, I'd like nothing more than you to give me the girl so I can be off. Something has come up, and I need her to move out of the area as soon as possible."
"My name is Jack, and how urgent is this 'as soon as possible.' Is it, police outside my door, urgent, or 'I'm being a snooty woman' urgent?" I usually don't become this rude to my clients unless they either deserve it, or I'm at a point were I've got more power in the situation. Here, it qualifies for both, so double win!
"Jack, I'm sorry. It's a matter of wanting to just be done with this whole ordeal. The opera has decided that I should become the lead in their plays now that they're without the girl. I'd like less stress if you don't mind. Such things are for the common man, I'm sure you understand.
"I understand just fine." A screaming echoes from upstairs. "And it appears that Christine is awake! How pleasant."
"I bathed her and everything," Annie walked down the stairs, a bit out of breath, "but as I was putting on her dress she woke up. She's ready for you when you are."
"Dear me, I can't have her when she's making all that noise. You'd think she'd be more civilized if she were to be ranked higher than myself."
"Lady, I'm sure that's more civilized than you if you-"
"Jack. Be nice."
"Fine. We can drug her if you wish. Would you like us to set her into a fear-coma, or Sleep Coma? By the way Annie, I developed a serum that'll induce the fantastic fear in a person. It's a pretty wicked nerve gas it-"
"Sleep is fine. Do it fast, I'd like to be out of here."
I don't usually like to be cut off of my sentences, but this will have to do for now. I'm much too tired to keep this up for any longer.
"That was stress-filled, but we got our money. Pretentious snob, hope I never have to see her sorry hide again."
"Yea, I feel almost-almost-almost bad for the girl. She really shouldn't be subjected to such terrible people."
"I know, right! That woman was worse than anything I've ever done to anyone! I don't know how our guys do it..."
"They don't. That's why they die."
"Oh yea! Right! Ha!" And so, a merry evening is ended with laughter as we fall to sleep in our footy pajamas at the base of the couch. "Till tomorrow Annie."
"Till tomorrow Jack."