Hell on earth seemed to come in many forms.
One was dealing with the guilt of having committed the unthinkable sins. Another was hearing the woman you love say she might not love you for very much longer. And another type of hell on earth was desperately needing to drink but not being able to.
Alexander had heard that one of his friends, Jonas McKay, had been caught drinking before. He wondered if perhaps Jonas could supply him with alcohol. The thought was dreadful, but Alexander needed to find alcohol somewhere. The tavern was not an option, there was no more whiskey in the clinic, and Alexander's parents didn't drink, so Jonas was probably Alexander's only choice. He reached into the satchel he kept hanging off the edge of his bed.
It was his writing satchel. In it were paper, pens, ink, and money for when he ran out of writing supplies. Alexander counted out the money; there was quite a bit. Certainly enough to buy a sufficient amount of liquor.
Pocketing the money, Alexander sat down on his bed and thought long and hard about what he was going to do. He knew he'd greatly regret his decision when the effects of the liquor wore off, but right now, his soul was being slashed into shreds. He couldn't stand the pain and guilt without chemical aid.
So, then. Alexander had been reduced to this: a lustful wretch with no other relief but to drink it all away.
Why do I have to be so stupid? Why must I bow to my own wrong decisions? Why must I turn to alcohol in order to deal with myself? Alexander buried his head in his hands and allowed a few tears to fall. But only a few. He couldn't be in this condition when he went to buy liquor from Jonas.
The walk was a bit long, but it was worth it. Alexander was propelled by the thought that soon enough, all his pain would be over. Soon enough, he could forget Eve's heart-killing words.
Alexander's assumptions were correct, and he was able to purchase a considerable amount of liquor from Jonas. The only problem was where he would hide it. The place where he and Eve had run off to was now known by his parents, so that wouldn't work. He decided to keep the liquor under the pine tree nearest his house. Whenever an event most unbearable would occur, he had only to wait until nobody was around before retrieving the liquor he'd need to rescue him from his torment. Yes, it was a fool-proof plan.
The thought that he would probably become dependent upon alcohol troubled Alexander, but he figured that it really didn't matter anymore. He was already unforgivable; he might as well give it all up and cope with the pain however he chose. It wasn't like God could ever save him, anyways, after all he'd done. So really, it didn't matter who Alexander became, as long as he didn't hurt anyone else in the process.
He figured that nobody loved him, so the only person he would hurt was himself.
And thus began Alexander Marcus Hale's alcohol addiction, a slow descent into a hell on earth that would eventually destroy him.