Aimlessly wondering

My own rambeling not necessarlily making any sense. XD

Utter chaos seems to describe life at the moment. I, a teenager surrounded by immatureity. Sometimes being presurred into it by others. My mind seems to have it's own way of speaking, but what comes out of my mouth seems age appropriate. Sometimes I wish I was older out of highschool, out of collage. What would freedom be like? A adventure filled with experimental ways of living until I find my niche in the world. Yet here I am. Stuck in this impass of wanting to be younger again, and older at the same time. It's a relentless force pressing stress apon me when I least expect it. Emotions of epic proportion endlessly flooding my body sucoming me and resulting in shouting rage. To add to this, series of deaths depress me. My own desire too be special in some way shape or forum, encourages me too try new things. Different from the average. I could think for days about things like this but somehow. I try to hide behind jokes and friends with a smile. But when we try to take pictures I hide. I don't like what I see.Who is this person beyond the photo? Have you ever truely looked at yourself and not expect what you saw? Then you look at others who are ungrateful for who they are and take it for granted. Its a shame. Then you try to forget about it and improve yourself to societys standards. Which usually are impossible to reach, a gimmick set to make money off of the unsuspecting young and old. Upset at themselves for purely being them. Its wrong. Why can't we be proud of who we are, for what we are? Then respect others for it? Maybe there too short, maybe they have a face scarred from a fire that killed their parents, maybe they are fat because they have a diasease thats slowly killing them by making them more and more obese. We as a whole judge them the first time we meet them. Then they are teased, bullied, lied to, taken advantage of, and lonely. You will see because later in life, they will be stronger. They will be the millionares, the happiest people in the world, because even though we judge them. Try to beat them down. The followed their hearts and what they told them too do. When we expect help from them in the future, when were groveling at their feet for forgiveness for ruining their lives. They will say no.

The End

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