"Uhh, hi there, yeah, as it turns out, one of my co-workers appears to be trapped in an freight elevator somewhere... uhm..."

"Uh huh, sure, one of your co-workers is stuck in a freight elevator at an abandoned factory somewhere, is that correct?"


"Can you please give me your name?"


"Let me guess, 'Seymour Butts', am I right?"

"Yeah.. how did you know?"

"Listen kid this isn't my first day on the job you know"

Seymour had this trouble all his life, applying for credit cards, finding dates,  job interviews, he always got the same response.

"Listen you don't understand, my name really is Seymour Butts and my co-workers really are trapped in an elevator somewhere"

"Sure they are Seymour, I'll send Lassy out right away to rescue your friends who are trapped down the well"

"Lassy? What? Who said anything about a well?"

"Seymour have you enjoyed your little prank phone call? Do you feel like a bigger, better, more fulfilled person for wasting my time like this? Do you feel clever and witty for stealing that 'Seymour Butts' gag from the Simpsons?"

"Is there anything I can do to make you believe me?" you ask desperately.

"You sound like my ex-husband, goodbye Seymour"

You hit your desk in a rage, a little harder than you should have. You howl out in pain as the boss walks into your office.

"Seymour you were meant to have the marketing plan on my next half hour ago, where is it?"

The End

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