Yes, this is a spin-off of "Oh Captain, My Captain".
Because I can do that.
And the title is shamelessly stolen from "Agents of SHIELD".
The Central Agency for Recon and Defense is a tough buisness to get into.
Penelope Amara Moreno knows this.
That still doesn't explain why she's standing in a nondescript room with about twenty other recruits for this sector of CARD.
And yet, here she is.
"Now, recruits. If you manage to pass this, you'll earn the title of Junior Agents. Whether you want the name or not, it'll be yours. So those of you who can't handle this shit, get the hell out. I don't know what you're doing here in the first place. Seriously. The door's right there, Alvarez will show you out." The strict-looking woman has her arms crossed over her chest, eyebrows pulled down low in a mockery of a disapproving librarian.
One recruit quivers in his seat, but holds fast.
"Alright, idiots. You'll be going into a fake set-up of a standard op. The mission is to take out a 'sniper' and report back to base using your comms for a standard situation report. Oh, you'll be using paintball guns. Go wild."
Several people perk up at the mention of paintballs, and the woman leaves the room with a long-suffering sigh, not even looking back to see if they're following her. The recruits scramble after her in a mad dash once they realize that's what they're supposed to be doing.
They're clumped together, and the various other agents disperse, leaving only the recruits and the stern agent who still hasn't mentioned her name once.
"Pair up." Is the only instruction she gives before walking away.
Penelope quickly surveys the people, grabbing the most unassuming person there and running.
That person turns out to be a thin young man, lithe and flexible. Apparently he was there for some gymnastics thing or some shit.
They're wedged in crevice somewhere, and she says, "My name's Penny. You?"
"Uh, Nathan. Nathan Parks." He looks nervous, but she determinedly does not doubt her decision.
As it turns out, it was quite a good decision. All traces of Nathan's insecurity disappear once he's out there.
It is ridiculously easy to defeat four fully-trained agents with solely gymnastics-fueled fighting.