The soft hum of his snore was piercing to her ears. It sounded to her like a saw cutting through acrylic, rather than the innocence of a sleeping lover. His arm was spotted with a brown mole near his shoulder; perfectly round. She thought of the way he had traced the spots on her back...
The ring was not on her finger, and even without it, she already felt heavy with the burden of it. He's the wrong guy! But the right one was gone. Long before the night with the broken glass, the slap on the cheek and the kiss he forced upon her. It was an angry kiss, which she pulled away from, but now - she was hungry for it. Somewhere in between, she had lost him and that night was merely the both of them getting furious with one another for having misplaced the map.
Neither of them ever found it. She suspected he was to be living in a cute suburban house, with a lovely wife and two perfect children. She paused in her thoughts, and scratch that. She knew him better than to think his life was to be that dull.
The scenario in her head now depicted him at an office accompanied by colleagues whom he would drink with, followed by an evening with a sexy blonde woman - enjoying his carefree life. That said, his creative streak was bound to be a hidden realm in his life, she thought, and imagined him typing eagerly at his laptop.
Oh, the fantasies and the possibilities! It agonized her further to think of him in contentment. She was a proud woman, who was pained by success of others in comparison to the unprosperous life she was living. The mistake of leaving him appeared to be even more destructive, now that she found herself in a position requiring her to choose to promise to give her heart to another man, entirely.
On this sofa, with the man sleeping next to her, was all she knew of. Was all she possessed. She knew not of what would come if she was to pass this proposal by. She feared what was to happen. But the last time she took the safe route, it resulted in nothing much better.