Adventure in Thai.

I love the hustle and bustle of the airport normally. As my father pulls the car to a stop at the terminal entrance and pats me on the knee, in that annoying but caring way which he has done since I was a small child. My stomach is a bag of nerves, making me feel sick. As everyone get out of the car I take a good look around. Taxis dropping off , waving people goodbye, jetting off to unknown places on unknown adventures. How I have always hated this kind of thing, but I had come this far, I can’t or won’t back out now.

Weeks of preparation, planning for the unknown, to have it all taken away from me in one two second phone call.

I’d hardly slept last night, tossing and turning rolling it over and over in my mind.

‘Should I go?’ ’Would I be stupid to go after this?’, ‘What if something happens to me, all alone in a far off place, no family, no friends to come and help me?’.

All what if’s, and after much deliberation I thought ‘sod it’. It was gona be my adventure, regardless of ‘if I found them or not’, something I had never done before, my chance to be me, stand on my own two feet, to take a break from being called a mum.

Just me Erika Tomaso minding myself and own.

My rucksack loaded on to the trolley, as I got out of the car and walked the short distance into the busy terminal building. The noise immediately pricking my brain, Anisha, my beautiful little daughter excited but at the same time not wanting to kiss me goodbye, our hearts heavy with the building emotion as they walk with me to the check-in desk.

My father hugs me first, patting my back not saying much of anything, then my mother who has been crying off and on the whole journey here. Then finally Anisha, who I pick up and hold close, smelling her smell as she wraps her little legs and arms around my me, and then my folks join in, enveloping us in a group hug. In our own private world oblivious to the people all mulling around the terminal. We say our ‘ I love you’s’ ‘be safe’ and ‘be good’. The tears pouring down my mothers face as she prizes Anisha from me, as I choke with my emotions as the tears pour down little Anisha’s face.

‘Be safe’ my father says as they start to walk away, holding my mothers hand as she clutches Anisha to her chest.

‘it’s a long way for me to come and get you from there’ he adds as they all wave.

His words ringing clearly in my mind for a long time after as I stand there rooted to the spot watching were they disappeared out of the door.

I turn, to face the woman at the check-in desk face all made up with a smile made of plastic as I take a deep breath.

Twelve hours to Bangkok, three flights in all, a ferry ride to the islands and the across country by dirt bike.

But will I find my salvation at the end?

The End

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