"Come children. This way"

Jack struggled to pace forward with Sarah now clinging to him fearfully. The old woman could not be seen though Jack followed a faint light that glimmered toward the end of the narrow corridor in which they walked.

A bellowing thud startled the two as the door slammed behind them., Sarah burst in screaming now growing hysterical as Jack dragged her to the flickering light.

"Jack i want to go home. Take me home Jack!"

Sarah cried panting as a tears streamed down her face. Jack grinned into the light which enflamed his eyes. Its stregth was weak revealing little of their surroundings but Jack cared not for that. He became overwhelmed, obsorbed by the glimmer that flickered ahead.. He turned to Sarah with a madening expression and laughed wildly at her tears before violently shaking her off.  Further and further he paced but the light drew no nearer. He ran breathing furiously amoung crazed giggles  .

"This way Jack"

The voice now seemed unfamiliar and echoed arond them. It trembled through Sarah's body as she watched her brothers siluette grow ever more distant. Jack now ran fixated on the light. His eyes grew wild as the darkness of the corridor  thickened. The sound of the old woman''s voice stabbed at him from all directions.

"Come Jack! This Way. Touch the light Jack. You want to touch it don't you Jack? Touch the light Jack! "   

Jack spat a final gasp as he blundered into the light..

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Its all about getting the reader enveloped in fear/anticipation/dread/excitement ect. Its got to be heart stopping stuff, so dont use my piece as an example! Write about anything as long as it gets the readers adrenaline pumping. The closer to a cardiac arrest the better! Hope to see some great posts!!

updated Jul 9 '08 by Bruno