Spoken word poetry kind of deal I did here. Just leting my emotions out. May be weird to understand if you don't get the deal how to read I guess. I just let my emotions out may not even be good. We improve in time.
I guess that's just how it is. With ADHD.
You want everything. But nothing is good enough.
There isn't a thing that holds your interest. Not long enough.
You mind is like a theme park 24/7.
You run around in all the different patterns. Those colours. Shapes and sizes.
You want pay attention every little detail. Inhale deeply every smell. Taste to the core all the flavours. Caress each shape on it's own.
You understand the depth of it all. You see the pure chemicals of the world. Let it get you in its embrace for a mere second.
But then there is something else. And some other thought. And you're lost.
You run one after another. Changing your direction every few seconds. They feel like hours to you.
See so much opportunities in it. All off it.
Patterns sketch immediately inside. Completely on its own.
As you lift up your brush to sketch the shape. It changes in matter of milliseconds. All the other ideas you get.
By the time you connect your finger with canvas. It creates. Something completely different. It grows in swipes.
Not enough time to process. And so beautiful on it's own.
You speak. Fast. Loud. Out of control.
You don't understand. Why are you in trouble? How did that happen? You shrug it off. Another beating, another F in the book.
She hates it. You're not like your sister. Calm and shy. Quite and fitting.
You stand out like a sore foot. Not even thumb. You shine with your energy.
With time you understand better. See clearer. And you learn to let it go.
Why even bother containing it. Speak up. You want to be surprised by what comes out. Just like everyone else.
You can't think of what you let out. It just. Happens.
You like it that way. Every time it's a new creation. Fascinating on its own.
And there you go. From one thing to another.
What was that? You forgot.
Never can give enough attention to just one thing. Too many. Too much.
It's fascinating. And yet never enough.
Can't ever settle on one. It drives you up the walls.
Only time you can be free is on skates.
It hugs you. Like a mother finding her lost child. Embracing you like an old friend.
Knowing you will come back. Needing the feel. Craving for it. Over again.
Controlling the speed. The lenght.
Control. You have it.
Feel the wind embrace you as you speed up.
Faster. Faster. FASTER!
Beating heart and sweaty body.
Harder. Push yourself further.
Give it your best. Turn here. Avoid them.
Feel the beat of the song. Deep inside your head. There's a rave party of your own.
Let it go.
Just laugh and smile at the wind.
Feeling how it hits you.
How adrenaline slowly washes over you.
Much like a orgasam of it's own.
Only time you are trully free.
But then back to this.
Driving you up the walls.
No concentration. No freedom.
Jumping from one ride to another.
Never settling down.
But it's just how it goes you guess.
It will never be enough.
But the moment of freedom.
Knowing other people don't feel it.
Not like you do.
It's worth it.
Definetly worth it.