Accessorizing the AfricanMature

Short conversation between, a designer and their client, over what to wear for the oncoming tour.

But it must go with the dress I’m wearing for the tour coming up, it should contrast with it…do you understand?” She screamed at her designer.


“That bitch’ll have hers on show for all the world to see, and I’ll look a fool if she upstages me again”


“I’ll have to phone her as much as it pains me, but needs must; after all I’ve got my public to consider!”


“Hi…….It’s me, listen darling I hate to be a drag, but where did you get them from?, I mean they’re divine, absolutely divine”

“Oh sorry darling, but living over in the U.K, has sort of influenced my accent a tadge..Sorry a little, but it’ll wear off soon enough”


“Africa, you got them from AFRICA, How cool!”


“But do you think they’ll go with yellow? I’ve figured that yellow reflects my individualism and I intend to use it throughout my tour”


“No, I’m only looking for one right now, but perhaps if I get stuck, you’ll loan me out yours for a while, I believe they’ll be in safe hands, just like the other one’s I think I’ve got?”


“Well I hit on the idea a while back, whilst..Oops!.... there I go again, WHILE living in England”


“Well you see, all the young girls in England have one, it’s the ‘must have’ item over there, and like.. you know that I’m immortal and ageless, so I guess it’ll be crass not to indulge myself….crass?... listen honey I’m not too sure myself, but gross if you like, but either way I’ve got to keep in with my fellow teenagers haven’t I?”


“Anyways, how did you go about getting yours?, oh I see, and that’s it, yeah, got it in one, throw lots of money around, and stamp my feet a little, oh yeah, piece of cake, I can do that alright”


“My age!. What the F**k has that got to do with anything sister...sorry slipped back into English there, for a while”


“Well, I guess more money would be required then, but it’ll be a breeze, and thanks for the advice, yeah love you too, and give my love to B,………” “Oh she’s hung up!”


“O.K. mister we’re going to Africa, you get your faggoty arse on that plane, and choose me a shade that goes with this YELLOW!, Right now… do you hear!”

The End

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