I should stop

I should stop. It was fun and it filled the empty hours of the day, but now it is turning into something else. It will cause a problem and why should I let that happen. I will lose, I always do. So just stop. Now. Don't go any further. Stop. Pretend you have a little self-control and don't do it this time. Put everything away, throw it away, burn it, stomp on it, hit it with a hammer. Stop. You have control and can make your own decisions. The lobotomy did not hold or take or start. She's not worth it, they are not worth it. Maybe a little bit. More than a little bit. Less than half. More than a third. I could swear right now - every word I know, from a to zed.

New paragraph. Why? It's the same thought. The same thought from last night, from four days ago, from six week and seven hours ago. It's not a new thought - isn't that what paragraphs are for? Yes and no. Or maybe. Do you think in sentences? Yes. You can think in grunts and sign language if you want. Stop. Put it down. It smells good. You wish you could describe the smell, but words and you don't cooperate. She laughed at you. You try to be something you are not and try to be mature and reasonable and understanding and loving and what else. Anything else. Anything she wants. Anything he wants. But what she wants and he wants and what you want are the same but different. Phonies, every last one of them.

New paragraph. Make it different. Can you post two chapters in this story? The rebel says so what, but that's juts your little finger, the left one, speaking. It doesn't speak literally, because if it did you would be rich. You would charge five hundred thousand dollars an appearance and people would pay to hear the little pink figner talk, the left one. The right one is mute. The chapter thing - you click Publish and suffer the consequences. Who cares? You do. I do. She doesn't - never did. Never will. Could care less about anything to do with you unless she gains from it.

Stop. Just put it down. Or try something different. It doesn't always have to be the same. Spice, variety, life, whatever. Why did you use a contraction? Question mark. Why not? Slow sigh. No one can hear that and reading about a sigh is boring. Worse than boring - mediocre. Purile. Childish. Someone checked their word fo the day calendar.

Stop it. Last time I am going to type this. It is typing, not writing. You have nice writing, better printing, but nice loops and straight lines and you cross the Ts. You should write more and type less.You should do everything good more and everything bad less.

Or not/

The End

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