He sat in the car, wondering whether to go back in and ask what she had meant, but he didnt want to find out; she had gone now and the note was the only thing that was keeping him from tracking her down. Tracing the letters, recognising her familiar handwriting made it all the harder to try and do what she asked. She had left without a word, without any sign that something was wrong; how could she have broken his heart so freely?
Checking the time, he was able to get back to the house in time for his favourite soap, but was unsure if the comic stylings of a make-up life would change his current feelings. Without knowing, his eyes began to droop and become heavy, the sounds became blurred in his mind and pushed further and further back. When he awoke, the telephone was vibrating next to him with 'Kim' flashing on the caller ID.
"Hi. I believe i might have said something out of line yesterday." He perked up suddenyl, wiped his face with his hand and thought of what to say,
"Well i did wonder what you meant?" There was a slight pause and what he thought was a rushling of papers,
"I am sorry, i shouldnt have said anything. Not after your wife had left you."
"How do you know that?" He jumped up out of the chair and walked around the room, he had made sure he didnt say anything in their session yesterday it was too painful.
"Oh, i am sorry. I should go." She hung up the phone, but he was not letting this one slide. No one knew about their marriage break up unless she had said something, but that would mean that Kim had been in contact with his wife. The phone rang for a while, not making any sign of picking up until suddenly there was silence at the end of the phone,
"What did you mean?"
"Have you spoken to her?" There was a pause and an almost whisper,
"I cant say."
"You have talked to her."
"No, no. Just, leave it. I am sorry i said anything." She put the phone down again, confirming his believes that something was going on. At first he had believed he had just been a bad husband in some way, had abandonned her and she had only returned the favour. He had not been unfaithful, or maybe that was why she left; but why would she see Kim before this happened. He unscrewed the note from his pocket and read it again, those words kept sticking in his mind 'let me go', as it was something that his wife would never say. Why let her go? He wasnt the possessive type of clingy, he thought he had been (not at all egotistical) a very good husband! The note sat twisting in his hand, spinning faster and faster until he had a thought.
He stopped the note and examined the handwriting. Something was different about it, even though he had looked at it before, there was something that wasnt ordinary about it. Quickly he pulled out their financial folder and searched for her documents. The forms were filled with neat precision and calligriphy style handwriting, whereas the note was made with calligriphy handwriting sure enough, but more hasty and rushed. For an hour, he tried to convince himself that she had not gone on her own will, someone was forcing her to go, someone was making her rush. This was the clue that he had been waiting for, something to give him hope instead of endless confusion and dead ends. But his mind was not wishing, he didnt want a glimmerof joy in case it would be so easily snuffed out as it was the last time.
Instead he picked up his phone and redialled,
"Listen, i am sorry..."
"She didnt come to see you about me, she came there of her own accord didnt she?" There was silence, "she wasnt there because of something i had done but something taht she was worried about. What was it?"
"I cant say anything."
"For God sake i am her husband! She could be lying in a gutter for all you know!" That image brought tears to his eyes; her lovely brown hair floating in sewage while her clothes lay torn and her skin pale.
"She is not going to be. It was not like that."
"So you did see her." Kim was not very good at lying, and under pressure she was even worse. He knew this, he had watched her try and deal with patients that wanted her care that she couldnt look after; and sometimes even caught her trying to get out of meeting her own husband.
"Just leave it, ok. I cant tell you anything."
"You already have." Instead he put down the phone, almsot smiling, he had some sort of victory at last.