Summer Davies is on a quest. A quest to find a footballer, since all her pals have got their own footballers. However, she expects to find someone who's just a bit of eye candy, but what she doesn't expect is to fall in love and to be going out with one of the Premiership's top footballers, who is also a Model!
This story is inspired by The Wag's Diary, A Wag Abroad and Wag's at the World Cup by Alison Kervin
January 1st 2008:
I have the hangover from Hell.
Last night was another night with the girl's and we were determined to find me a man. And when I say a man, I mean a footballer!
Since I was the only one who hadn't bagged a footballer out of our group, my friends feel as though they should help me find one. And so last night was the first night of my journey.
And trust me when I say it was a bad idea.
The night seemed to start off well, all the girls were there. There was Alex who had only gotten married to Steven Gerrard a little over six months ago. Abbey Clancy was there, looking amazing as usual, of course she'd bagged herself Peter Crouch!
I must say, I do like Peter Crouch, he's so tall that sometimes I wonder whether it's colder up there, or maybe it's warmer since heat rises and all that!
Nicola was there, who just happened to be Jamie Carragher's childhood sweetheart. And of course there was Yolanda, she is married to Pepe Reina and my God she is loud. I never realised until last night!
So that left me. Single, little old me.
Except I'm not little really, since I'm 5ft 8, well, unless I stand next to Peter, I mean he could make the tallest guy seem small! And I'm not old, I'm only 24. But still, apparently time was ticking!
Me and the girls agreed that me, Summer Davies was going to bag herself a footballer! Because they thought the time was ticking.
But I didn't think it was. I'm only 24 after all.
Anyway, last night started well, of course it being New Year's Eve meant that we all got pretty drunk! Which was pretty bad since we were in the club where most of the footballers go!
Yolanda was being her usual loud self. "Were going to P-P-P-Party!" She yelled.
So I had a few drinks and I got talking to this cute guy called Phil Jagielka. And he seemed cool.
That's the one part I can actually remember clearly:
"So Phil Jagielka, that's a really funny name." I smiled.
"Yeah, I get that a lot." He replied.
"So, is it like foreign?" I wondered.
"I don't know. I am from Polish and Scottish decent."
What does that mean anyway? Does that mean he's part Polish, part Scottish? Because he didn't sound like it. He sounded English to me anyway.
And not only that, me and Phil Jagielka had a lot in common:
"So, do you like dogs Phil Jagielka?"
"There alright I suppose." He smiled.
"That's great, I love dogs!"
"Umm... I'm allergic."
"Oh, that's such a shame." I told him.
"Yeah." He said half dazed. "Umm... This might sound weird, but you face is kind of orange?"
"Is it?" I asked.
"Yeah." He replied.
"I'm so pleased you told me that. I've obviously got my foundation and blusher right because the orange look is so in this year!"
"Is it?" He asked me surprised.
"Yeah." I smiled.
But unfortunately, me and Phil Jagielka wasn't meant to be.
And here's why:
Alex walked over to me. "Hey Summer."
"Hey Alex, I've been talking to Phil Jagielka." I smile.
"Why do you keep saying my full name?" Phil Jagielka asked confused, but before I could answer Alex cut in, smiling. "Summer, can we talk a minute?"
"Sure." I replied and she took me to one corner.
"Ok, you cannot, under any circumstance go out with him."
"Why not?" I asked her shocked.
"Because he plays for Everton."
"What's wrong with that?" I smiled.
"You know? The Merseyside Derby and all that."
"The Merseyside what?" I asked.
"Never mind, just go over there and tell him you can't go out with him, ok?"
"Ok." I replied.
And so I made my long walk back to Phil Jagielka. Gosh, his name is still funny!
Anyway, I made the walk back to him and I told him why I couldn't be with him.
"Hello Again Phil Jagielka."
"Please, call me Phil." He said.
"Really? Because Phil Jagielka rolls off the tongue." I smile. "Look, I have to apologise to you, but I cannot go out with you."
"What? Where's this coming from?"
"Well, apparently because of some Merseyside Derby is why I'm not allowed to be with you according to my friend Alex."
He laughed when I said this, I don't understand what was so funny!
"Look, Summer. Umm... I didn't know we were planning on going out?"
"Oh sorry, I didn't realise. My friends, they took me out to find me a footballer, because I haven't got a footballer and well, apparently you can't be him because you play for Everton." He laughed when I said this.
Again I ask, what is so funny?!
"Look Summer, you're a lovely girl and I hope you find your footballer."
"Thank you Phil Jagielka." I said and hugged him tight, he gave me a strange look when I did this and I just thought this guy needs more hugs! "Call me Phil." He said.
"Ok Phil." I laughed.
"Right, I'll leave you to your quest." He tells me.
And so I went back to the girls where we talked about Phil Jagielka, I mean, Phil!
Alex was eager to know what I'd said to him.
"So how did you let him down?" She wondered.
"Well, I told him about how he's Everton and the Merseyside Derby and all that and about my quest to find a footballer."
"Ok, when you're turning someone down then you have to make sure that you lie. Lying is key. You can't go blurting that stuff out."
"Why not?" I asked and there was a long pause.
"Because you can't." I just nodded my head to this.
"Ok, but I don't think it mattered since he didn't think we were going out on a date anyway."
"Yeah." I smiled. "He was awfully nice though."
"Good to know. Let's find you someone else." She said and looked around the room.
And at that point Yolanda joined her. They were both looking round the room, trying to find me a footballer that didn't play for Everton. Not that it mattered, because I didn't even know what Merseyside Derby meant anyway! However, Yolanda found me someone who apparently wouldn't upset the Merseyside Derby rule.
"Him." She said.
"He has a funny face."
"He's Martin Skrtel. One of the new Liverpool players." Yolanda told me. "Now go and get him!" She yelled and I was suddenly hyped up for this.
I was ready to bag this guy!
My legs carried me over to him and I smiled at him for a long time.
"Hello Martin Skrtel." I said happily.
"Do I know you?" He asked.
"My name's Summer." I replied and I held out my hand. "You have a very bald head." He was about to shake my hand, but then didn't. I can't think why.
I was perfectly friendly!
And then he walked off. And when he was gone, Abbey walked over to me. "What happened?" She asked in a surprised voice.
"I only said that my name was Summer and that he had a very bald head and he walked off." I said miffed and Abbey then took my hand.
"Come on, let's get some drinks in you and forget about the footballers." She smiled
"Ok, thank God. I was getting fed up of finding a footballer for me."
And so we drank. And drank. And drank.
I can't remember much. But what I do remember, was that me, Abbey, Alex, Yolanda and Nicola were dancing. And for some reason I took off my bra underneath my dress and then put it on over the dress I was wearing.
What on Earth would make me do that?!
We all also got a load of free things from the bar too. We got these Hula necklace things which you get in Hawaii! So I was so wearing that! And we got this triangular hat, which I couldn't help but wear.
About an hour later we all stumbled out of the pub. We went our separate ways and I remember running. A lot! I remember feeling the wind in my hair and it felt as though I could fly!
So I'd run and stop, run and stop, run and stop!
And I'd also shout: "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Now I knew what it was like to be Superman!
What I didn't expect was that I'd run into this blond guy that had obviously dyed his hair blond.
Because it wasn't in anyway natural!
And well, I landed on top of him on the concrete. When this happened I giggled. Which I think may have startled him.
"Umm... Could you get off me, so I can get up?" He wondered.
"Sure." I slurred and stumbled off him then fell back on the ground.
"Well, aren't you a picture?" He said happily, but I think he was being sarcastic. Because I mean, surely the hat, the Hawaii thing and the bra being on outside of my dress that wouldn't have looked good. "I am?" I asked him shocked.
"Yeah, you're very orange." He states.
"Thanks, everyone keeps complimenting me about that tonight. It's really good!"
He chuckled when I said that.
"Do you want some help up?" He wondered.
"I've got it." I said and attempted to get up off the ground, but fell back on my bum. He laughed again.
This guy liked to laugh.
"Here." He said and took hold of my hand and pulled me up. But as I stood up I stumbled and he put an arm around me. "Look, do you want me to help you home?"
"I don't know, you know what they say, Stranger Danger and all." I slurred to him.
"You can trust me." He smiled and when I looked into his chocolate brown eyes, something told me that I could. And so I told him my address and he walked me home.
This very strange man walked me home.
"I like your style of fashion." He said, referring to the bra going over the top of my dress. "I know!" I replied happily. "You know, people are saying you need to be daring to set off a new trend and this is it, I tell you, this it. Soon every girl will be wearing bras over the top of everything."
"Wow, that's certainly different." He told me.
"I know, but there's one trend, which I haven't seen and would really like to start but can't."
"Why? What is it?" He asked.
"Well, I was at the airport going on holiday with some of the girls. And you had to put your bags on a conveyor belt and I couldn't understand why for the life of me. And then my bag beeped and they took it out. And I asked them why they had to do this. And she said because there could be something dangerous in the bag like knives and she also said the bag could contain a bomb. And I was like Wow! I mean, are there actually Prada bags that contain bombs in them? Because if so, I want one! I mean, it must be amazing! So I asked the woman where can I get these special bomb bags from, but she didn't answer my question and threw my tweezers and pair of scissors away."
"Two years on and I still haven't found that bomb bag." I replied and the blond man laughed. A lot of people seemed to be laughing today, I can't think why, I mean, I had two quests in life. One of them was to find the bag and the other was to find a footballer.
So yeah. I forgot what I said after that and the next thing I remember was arriving back home. I got my keys and attempted to put them through the hole, but I failed.
I failed badly. They were going all over the place.
In fact the keys went everywhere, but the hole!
The blond man helped me out though. He took the key and put the key in the lock, turned it and returned the key to me.
"Do you want help upstairs?" He wondered.
"No, you've already done so much and probably want to go home." I smile.
"Yeah." He laughed. "What's your name anyway?" He asked.
"Summer, Summer Davies." I smiled and he held out his hand to me.
"Nice to meet you Summer Davies." I shook his hand when he said this. "My name is..."
And I'd forgotten!
For the life of me I couldn't remember this mans name! It began with F, I'm sure it did. Maybe it was Fred or something?
I don't know.
So just for the sake of my diary, I'll call him Chocolate Bear. Because he had chocolate eyes and for some reason he reminded me of a teddy bear.
So he said: "My name is Chocolate Bear."
"Nice to meet you Chocolate Bear." I smiled. "Do you like Dogs?"
"I love them." He replied. "Anyway, good night Summer."
"Night Chocolate Bear." I called to him as he walked away. And so I shut the door, walked up the stairs and got into bed where I had a nice, comfy sleep.
But now it's really irritating me because I have no idea what this guys name is.
I'm sure I'll find out his name. It could be another one of my Quests. Ok, I should keep count of these Quests.
1-Find a fashionable Bomb bag.
2-Bag myself a footballer player (not to be picky, but a fit one please!).
3-Find out Chocolate Bear's real name.
And now I feel ill. Really ill.
With that thought I think I need to go to the bathroom!
So Ta Ta For Now Diary!