Its about a girl called Ellie who has just started at her secondary School. She wants to make a few friends and get involved in the school activities so to do this she joins a play, the play of A Midsummer's Nights Dreams, she never knew that she would fall head over heels in love with her co-star and then get on the roller coaster ride of emotions as she travels the school for 3 years juggling all the emotions of Jealousy, Hatred, Lust, Anger, Love, Happiness and more. (Inspired by a true story
Have you ever had a toxic Break-up? I have.
Have you ever had a break-up and then still have feelings for the person after? I have.
Have you ever seen the person at some totally random place and then they come and talk to your mates and completely ignore you before saying something so harsh that you feel like you are going to die? I have.
These things are possibly the most hurtful and horrible experiences to go through. you get the yearning to do something but you have no idea what.
They are the experiences that keep you awake at night, worrying, longing. Deep in thought and awareness you pray that they will sort themselves out but they never do and
I heard randomly that Love makes us unstable and un-detached from the world, which in a ways is the same as depression. So is it to say that Love and Depression is the same thing?
I found out the answer for myself.
The harsh way!
The unfair way!
The one way!
He sat there beautiful in every way not realising I was there, his back to us 3 girls who stood shocked to say the least, he had not spoken to me since the incident which I was now regretting not telling the girls about.
He sat with another girl who Fearne and Bride formally met as Mel, who was his most recent girlfriend.
They sat there smiling perfectly happy like I had been when I was with him not so long ago.
He was perfect in every way, his masculinity which could never had been doubted, his perfect blue eyes with their minuscule tint of purple and his muscularity which nearly made me drool in complete horror as I realised what I was missing out on.
His eyes shone in the sunlight which gleamed through the windows in delicate rays of beauty the sun was the curtain puller of our awed states.
The brightness soured his eyes and he flung his head back to meet our gazes, I stood crouched a little behind the others hoping that he would not spot my scared and nervous face, Fearne and Bride’s face beamed with happiness at seeing their lost crush in so long.
He stood up from his chair still holding onto Mel’s hand, his height had grown since I had seen him last but that was most likely since I was crouched in such a small position. His face had that perfect smile, the one I would see when he was truly excited or happy, how I had missed that smile, it was like my personal drug every morning when I felt down or to tired to speak.
I had missed that smile so terribly since the incident of which he and I parted painful ways.
He approached Fearne and Bride, my body became rigid and agitated as he stepped forward ever so slightly and I could see how both Brides and Fearne’s cheeks had lifted too nearly where there eyes were, they were obviously excited by his presence but who wouldn’t be by him.
He continued to step forward he was taking forever but I think my emotions made me see it slow motion like they say when you apparently meet your true love.
Suddenly speed sped up again and he was in front of me hugging Bride and Fearne.
His smile was huge like it would be for a mother once she see’s her child again for the first time in a year; luckily he had closed his eyes to soak in that his old friends were here.
I quickly pounced for the queue placing my purple hoodie over my face, the others would not remember me now that he was there.
I couldn’t help but stare in complete awe of the other two I wanted to hug him, he had the best hugs imaginable not to strong and squashed but not to light that he was barely squeezing you either.
He released them and opened his eyes and suddenly in a rush I was nervous, so I turned away to the counter but I twisted my head a little so that I could still just see them and just in case I looked through my eyelashes.
He looked on at Fearne and Bride’s invitational look as he turned his head back and forth staring at Fearne too long, Bride would say something to get his attention and then if he looked at Bride to long Fearne would intervene.
Each time they spoke I wished I could intervene and rush up to him and give him a hug and kiss him like I had done before, but I couldn’t. I wasn’t allowed and I couldn’t. Not to Kyran.
By now Mel had joined them. She had his hand in hers and she stared up at him in a completely loving look, poor Bride stood and stared at her faking her happiness, she had the look of forgotten lust on her face.
He looked away from Mel to Fearne and Bride but then he caught the first glimpse at me. I swear he shuddered at the look of me. It was terrifying to see him looking so scared at the thought of me let alone the look of me. I kept telling myself to turn away to talk to the lady who kept asking me what I wanted, but all I could hear in my ears was my breathing and the uneven beating of my heart as it fluttered edging me on to go tell him how truly sorry I was.
His black hair was scruffy just across his face but I could see his eyes which were angry in thought.
He huffed, shook his head and walked away with one arm over Mel’s shoulder, not even bothering to say goodbye to the others.
Mel turned to look at me but he pulled her away. I heard her barely audible voice ask “Who was that?”
Kyran replied in a harsh and unforgiving tone “Nobody.”
And then they were gone out the door in a second.
It was too much, if I had no self control I would have been in a bath of salty tears up to my neck and rising hoping it would rise further and further praying it would never stop. How could I live that down in a public fish and chips with two of my friend’s one of which was trying to hide her smile and the other hitting her to stop laughing. I felt humiliated.
Scared I might do something embarrassing, I ran in the opposite direction of the chip shop and ran until I had found a nice corner in the park under a tree where no one could see me before collapsing in tears of sorrow and of lost love.
I swear I could hear the even tone of his laughter, screaming and ripping at my ears as I cried never stopping for breath and never stopping for anything I just wanted the laughing to stop and the torment to stop scratching away at my bones and to release me from this hypnotic stage of love and care.