The BeginningMature

An idea I've been harbouring and would like to show you an overlook of the beginning of the story. This will not be in the final piece but it's here to allow for criticism, and other's thoughts on the beginning of my book.

As the light of dawn flails across the mountains, covering the plains and all that it holds, there lies a large camp, a camp of slaves. This camp is no different from normal slave camps, full of half-starved people and fat slave traders who eat all the food and drink all the water. Within this camp there lies a young boy, a boy by the name of Drake Morlock. He looks up at the sky, and braces the early morning wind with a solemn look in his eyes. He had lost a lot over the past few weeks, he had come here to the county of Desia, with his parents to trade dyed silks for a small fortune. However as the first night fell and they camped in the plains, bandits attacked. His parents were slaughtered, he was kept alive, only to be sold to these slave traders and semi-starve. Something was on his mind, his companion, the person he calls sister, was not beside him. She is waiting, waiting to be taken by the slave traders and assessed. She had been a slave since birth but had been in the employ of a noble house as a caretaker for their kids. She was let go because the kids had grown up and once again was left to slave traders, whose plans for her were dubious. She has been blind since birth, but has excellent hearing and perception, she was also naturally very intelligent. It was obvious to Drake what they planned to do, and he wasn’t about to let it happen. He hadn’t a plan and he would be outnumbered, but she meant a lot to him. She was his saviour, she pulled him from the darkness of despair and given him a friend and companion within the slaves. Why does he call her sister? That would be a tradition of slaves. Someone they care for, look up to would be called a brother or sister, and may be called a young brother or sister if they’re younger. In Drake’s case, he calls the girl Sister Nora. After all he looks up to the girl, and now he wants to help her from the danger she will be in, but unsure how to.


The time had come, she had been taken and he had lost all reason to live. He was only small, at the age of 14 and thanks to his sheltered life, he was obviously not going to win any fights. So he had to be intelligent about this, think deeply and plan quickly. What would he do if she was defiled and she lost hope. Would that be the end to his sanity?


The boy came to his senses, surrounded by blood and bodies. A sword thrown across the floor and the girl in his embrace, holding him tightly and stroking his head gently. Although he had saved her, he may have just dug their grave, and knew they had to leave and try to survive alone. He turned to her and told her his plan, she merely nodded her head and smiled. They left the camp, using the keys they had found on the slave traders to free themselves and the others of their shackles. They travelled towards the west, in search for the slaves promised land. The county where slavery is banned in all forms, and the poor and homeless are sheltered by the state. That amazing place, the place of Drake’s birth, Arkea.

The End

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