"Geez!" he exclaimed as he finished reading the note I'd been sent. "This person has you on one damn tall pedestal. Are you sure that envelope was addressed to you and not to me?"
I elbowed him playfully in the ribs as he handed me the letter. "I admit, it would make more sense, given the submissive nature of the request, for a man to be the recipient." I paused, to gather my thoughts.
"Unless your secret admirer is a woman," he put in, damn him.
"In your pathetic dreams!" I yelled as I shuffled my fingers through his combed and spiked hair, making a mess of it all.
"Aww, back off! Don't be so uptight."
"I'm not one to set off gaydar. I think this person, this man, has just... picked up on my domineering manner, that's all."
My roommate looked at me with his head tilted forward, causing his gaze to graze his brow. It was a sullen expression, an all too familiar one, that accused me of unrealistic thinking.
From down the hall, a lone caged cockatiel chirped a demand for attention.
"I've dealt with stalkers before," I reminded my roommate as he retreated into the bathroom to comb his hair back into place.
"True," he said to the mirror. "And now we're living together."
"Hah! Hah-hah... heh," I chuckled amidst the bird's incessant chirping. "I wasn't talking about you, silly boy." I hadn't called him that in a while. A long while. It was something I'd sooner call his pet bird.
"Buy some pepper spray while you're out," he advised me.
"Yup!" I answered with a stifled giggle. "Worse to be sorry than safe... I guess."
"Nothing, Charlie!" I called, before closing the door to our condominium.
As I walked to the elevator, I hummed the tune of some hit pop song that had woken me up this morning, from the radio. It was a catchy tune I hadn't meant to catch. Something about heartbreak. I could not, for the life of me, remember the lyrics, the title or the artist. And that didn't matter, because pretty soon all those songs about love and lust would make sense to me, and so I wouldn't feel the need to listen to them every morning. I'd be living them.
Don't get me wrong, though. I'm no virgin, and I've had nearly my share of boyfriends. And, yeah, maybe I questioned my sexuality once in a while, but I'll keep that to myself for now. The thing is, I thought, at this moment in the hall, that I knew what it was like to fall in love. There, get me wrong. Get me terribly wrong!