They both folded their hands on the table. But those hands never touched. There eyes never touched either. Leigh's was focused on the streets. People watching was one of her favorite hobbies. Greg grunted.Once her attention was focused on him he started talking.
Greg said " I'm a little surprised, you asked me out. And so soon...When you said you wanted to go out for coffee I assumed you meant on the weekend...not right now"
" Well...I figured why not? Life is short. You probably know that better than anyone else" Leigh said.
" Death is a part of my job... but where there is death...there is also life. I don't think of myself as superman but I feel like I've saved lives" Greg said.
" Do you believe in reincarnation?" Leigh asked.
" I'm Catholic" Greg said finally.
" Oh" Leigh said disappointed " It's just that you sounded like you did'
" I explained myself wrong, I just meant my job is not all death and gore" Greg said
Leigh took a sip of her coffee and looked out the darkening window. The fire was quenched in shades of blue. Then the blue would turn black. Leigh sighed and looked back at Greg.
She sighed " God, I'm sorry I'm so boring tonight"
" Don't be you've been through so much lately" Greg said as he gently clasped her hands.
Leigh's hands shook on the table, she forced them still. So it seemed only she could feel them shaking. This was not pleasant. She couldn't see how it ever could be but she had to try. Maybe she wanted out of that box. Maybe...
Leigh sighed " Mya was my lifemate in many ways. I depended on her too much. I'm trying not to do that anymore"
" It's always good to stand on your own feet" Greg agreed
Leigh sighed again " I just don't know where to start. I think I've already failed"
" In what way?" Greg asked
Leigh took a big gulp of coffee and mulled it over. She looked past the ceiling for some unearthly guidance. Finally she swallowed her coffee and tried to answer the question as best she could.
" I've meant some new people and it seems already that I've become dependent on them. It's not suppose to be like that" Leigh explained.
" Luna tells me you are estranged from your family..."
" It's no excuse" Leigh said anonyed with herself.
" I'm almost done my coffee. Do you want to go for a walk after?" Greg suggested
" Sure" Leigh shrugged
A few moments later Greg held out her coat. Leigh took her coat without actually touching his hand. They both slipped on their spring coats. Greg left a small pile of bills on the table. Then lead her out of the cafe. Leigh pulled away and walked beside him. They walked downtown. Past a homeless man playing the spoons... A young couple fighting and Orson hiding inside a store window accross the street.
Leigh suddenly stopped. She didn't look at Orson. She barely looked at Greg. She looked at the darkening sky.
" I see some stars" She muttered
" I see the moon" Greg said.
" It"s a full one" Leigh said absently.
" Hmm...it is" Greg said.
" Romantic isn't it?" Leigh said
Leigh was looking at him then. She hopped she could flirt. She never tried to. Men just seemed to come to her. Most of the time she didn't like that. They weren't nice to her. But...No she had forgotten that. It never happened.
Greg took his cue and parted his lips and placed them on hers. He closed his eyes and seemed to dream of her. His lips were soft and nice. But all Leigh felt was the weight. And the wait...Five seconds seemed to long for her fluttery hands. Her hands wanted to push him away. It was just like before...
Greg pulled away. Licking his lips contently. He took her hand and she walked along numbly. It became clear now...the box would never be opened. That part of herelf would aways be closed off. She couldn't be that girl and no one could create her, or bring her back.
Five minutes later Greg's pager went off. Aww...Saved by the bell. Leigh barely heard him apologize. She told him to go. She would catch a cab home. Greg apologized and threw a bunch of bills into her hands. Leigh suddenly felt like a hooker being paid for her time...She stood like that way for awhile. Her hands outstreched, open while the bills flew out...She new better. The money was for the cab. If she was normal, She would have just taken the money or threw it back to him. Leigh wanted to be that modern woman who told the man she didn't need his money she had her own. But she was more a zombie than anything resembling a human. She could barely remeber what it felt like to be a woman.
" You look stupified. " Orson said.
Leigh jumped " God you scared me"
Leigh clutched her heart and turned towards him.
" You didn't actually think another man was all it would take to scare me away" Orson shrugged.
" You should hear yourself..."
Orson blurted " Your eyes were open and you didn't kiss his back. If It were me I would-"
" What?" Leigh blurted
" When he kissed you your eyes were open. You were looking everywhere but at him" Orson explained
" God that's so creepy...so crazy" Leigh turned away and started walking away.
" I will always watch out for you..." Orson struggled for the words
" Like a stalker" Leigh said dryly
She was more enamoured then anonyed or scared. And she wanted to be. She wanted the walls up again. The walls were there but she wanted them higher so he couldn't climb them. Ever.
" If it was wrong. I would have left long ago" Orson said
" And how are you so sure it's so right?" Leigh asked softly.
" I only sleep on days I see you" Orson said just as softly.