University boy

This is a colection of random story ideas that I started to write but never finished. Some of these ideas are barely even thought through. But they are quite interesting and unique I will tell you that.

Ihave no interest in completing any of these works. Perhaps whoever reads this will finish one of these ideas. All I ask in this case is that I be told about it so I can read the story.

You know. Dad used to get angry with me quite a lot when I was young,  I knew he was angry because he used the same voice he used with me that he used with everyone else that had the misfortune of receiving his anger. He used to yell and scream over the simplest, stupidest things. Things that could not be changed; sometimes he even yelled at me about things that I had nothing to do with.

When that happened, for a few moments, I believed that I must have some kind of super power and that’s why he was so mad at me; because I was too incompetent to be able to solve his problems for him. This of course led to guilt; that perhaps I was not good enough for my father’s love. Inevitably, as always in a house where someone was mad at another, it was reciprocated. Then, anger turned to downright hate and that’s how it stayed.

Of course this led me to believe that I was not wanted.  And, once I was old enough to leave the small town where we lived to a big city university, I did just that.

Now that I look back, I can see; my old man wasn’t angry at me. He was angry at the world, and that, really the kind of mad he used at me was just spilt over from someone else.

Yet still, I cannot lose the guilt that sits upon my heart. The belief that I do not fit, that I do not live up to his very high standards in some way still sits with me. And it weighs down my every waking moment.

The End

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