You decide to call the Missing Persons Hotline. As you dial the number you found on the milk carton, you hear someone breaking down the door. "STOP DIALING!!!!" they shout.
You run out to the front room and see a man in a suit with a briefcase standing triumphantly on your broken-down door. "It was unlocked..." you mumble.
"Are you [place your name here]?" the man walks over to you, tracking mud on your clean carpet.
"Yeah..." you stare at the mud stains.
"Your phone bill is over the roof!!!" he leaps towards you and smacks you with the briefcase.
"But... I haven't made any calls lately... Just two this morning... And they weren't even that long..." you're really getting annoyed now.
"Yes, but your phone..." the man tries to find an excuse for saying that your phone bill is over the roof. "Your phone is old and needs.... Needs to be in a nursing home."