It was the screaming I remember mostly. I think it was me, or my mom. But there was definitely screaming.
My mind shut down, stopping me from taking most of it in. But I remember enough. I remember the slow swinging motion. The creaking sound of the rope pulling at itself, trying to hold the hefty weight noosed at the end of it. Then I remember a hand being thrown over my eyes and being dragged out of the room.
Then I remember sitting in the living room with my little brother Alfie. I think I was crying, but all I remember about that part was what was on telly. Code Lyoko. I'd always loved that program. I'd wanted to be the cat guy.
Then some fucking neighbour that i'd never met- Mariette I think her name was... I remember thinking 'that's a stupid name'- and my mom walked in.
"Danny's with the angels now," She'd said. I remember the one thought: 'I'm 15, there's no such thing as god or angels. Don't talk to me like a fucking child'
All I managed to do was choke.
The next few weeks were a blur. Move in with family, have funeral, watch mom breakdown, watch family make decisions, watch family sell home, watch family buy house, watch stuff get packed, all the time with the same thought running through my head.
And that's what I remember.