"No! Put that down!" Dru yelled, hurrying towards the kitchenette. There was a smash and a guilty looking piratess shrugged appologetically. "Oh for the love of-" Dru said groaning. "Those were my best wine glasses!"
There was a rumpus coming from the bathroom and bawdy singing from the spare room. Of all the characters in all her stories, why did it have to be the Lesbian Land Pirates? Dru took a breath, trying to controll her temper.
"Captain Rimstone!" She said turning towards the sofa, where another, more finely dressed pirate slouched, flipping through TV channels. "Kindly keep your crew in order!"
"Oh lass, come sit ye down with me and stop fretting!" The captain said, patting the seat next to her suggestivly. "This be mighty fine rum you have here"
"I know," Dru said through gritted teeth. "At mighty fine cost too, not that you'd know it from they way it's being drank" The captain stood and walked the few steps towards her, stopping closer than was entirly comfortable. With one hand holding the bottle, Liz Rimstone placed the other on Dru's shoulder.
"Oh bonny one, I'll steal ye some more," she said.
"And stop coming on to me! My husband is right there." Dru said gesticulating at Darkliquid, huddled in a corner trying to liase with Asheyna and Crymzon.
"Oh popett," Rimstone said, looking hurt.
There was a crash from the bedroom, and Dru shut her eyes. Count to ten, she told herself.
"Oi! You lot!" Liz suddenly hollared, "Quit trashing our hostess's berth, or ye'll have the edge of my cutlass to deal with!"
"But Captain," one of the piratesses said, poking her head around the door. "We's only lookin'"
"Then look with your goram eyes!" Dru yelled. "If I find one thing missing, I... I shall burn The Genre-ation Game!"
Suddenly the rauckuus singing, and sounds of pillaging ceased. Dark turned away from his computer and gave her an incedulious look. He knew how much she liked the story, silly as it was. Tegan, one of the younger pirates and one of Dru's favourites, came and stood in the doorway. She flashed Dru big puppy eyes and said, "You... You wouldn't, would you? We was only tryin t'help." Dru looked away from the girl, towards Dark, her whole body ridgid with tense anger.
"Tell me Crym worked out how to send them back?" She said.
Dark shook his head, mild amusment on his face. "He hasn't had chance,"
"Well what has he been doing then?" Before Dark could answer another pirate staggeted to the door.
"You'ser all outta booze," she said sadly. Dru closed her eyes again.
"And I wonder why that is?" She said, but her sarcasm was wasted.
"Twasn't our fault you didn't have enough to begin with."
"Look," Dru said, reaching into a pocket, "there's a shop round the corner, I'll give you some money-"
"Rading party!" The drunkard yelled and staggered away."Excelent idea," Captain Rimstone said. "To me Ladies!" She hollarded as the crew left the apartment. Dru sagged.
"Shouldn't you-?" Dark began, pointing in the diection of the front door.
"Nope. I am not going anywere near that disaster. Besides, they won't kill anyone." She paused. "I think..."
She went and sat on the sofa, grabbing the dreggs of the rum.
"So what has Crym been working on?" She asked after taking a large swig. Dark frowned at the bottle but made no comment.
"He's been trying to find what villans have escaped our protag stories," he said instead.
"Can't you just write some kind of search algorythm thing?"
"No. It's more complicated than that. Hollywood has corruped you," Dark said with a smile. Dru settled back and took a swig of the rum.
"Well, we can thank the gods I don't have any villains. Unless you count the entire government in The MOW Files." She began another leasuruly swig and froze mid swallow from the look Dark was giving her. "Seriously? Oh double hell and blasphamy!"