Every time I hear my name I hear it like an insult. My name has come to identify the parts of me that I dislike the most, the parts of my life that I wish that I can forget. When I hear my name I think of it being sneered with distain through lips that bear cold hatred. I hear it being screamed at me through doors that won't open from the inside any longer. I hear it sighed in exasperation by someone who's given up and accepted that I will fail. I hear it being spat at me before being struck by angry blows. If I could I would change it so that I wouldn't have to carry this awful curse that I holds. Discard it forever, leave it behind me with so many memories that I wish to forget. Maybe when I do I can move on, but for now it tugs like a rope tied across my scared waist, dragging me back into the ever perilous tide.